Drarry One Shots

Slytherin(to) my bed

This is for @Kae_923 I don't think this is what you meant but it was the only thing my sick brain (like actually Im sick af rn) could come up with so I hope you like it.

Harry and Draco's mission has gone a little awry, to say the least. They've been chasing some rogue wizards for a few weeks now and had finally cornered them in a Brazilian rainforest of all places, but now not only are wizards gone, but so is Malfoy.

Harry has been looking for him for the past twenty minutes and has yet to find a trace of him. He stops to take a swig of water (and Malfoy gad laughed at him when he'd dressed in a jungle appropriate outfit instead of their usual auror robes).

As he's clipping the water bottle back onto his belt he notices something out of the corner of his eye. When he turns he finds a slender white snake, seemingly stuck in a bush. It's not flailing exactly, it's more wriggling. Despite his previous bad encounter with snakes (the basilisk, Nagini just two off the top of his head), he stills feels a sort of kinship to them.

"Hello friend" he says as he approaches the snake warily, it looks at him with caution as he starts to free it from the bush. Considering how badly it had tangled itself between branches and the undergrowth which grew into the bush form below, it went surprisingly fast to free it.

"There you go bud, all better" Harry says as he deposits the snake on the ground and crouches in front of it
"Mind if I give you a pat?" He asks, he knows snakes can be proud but they're also so cute.

"Don't" the snake hisses, and something about it seems familiar. But do snakes have accents? He'll have to do some more research into that when he's back home, and has Hermione at his disposal, he decides.

"Alright then, I need to find my partner, you haven't seen him around by any chance have you? Blonde, grey eyes and about yea-high" Harry puts his hand about 20 centimeters under his own height, a little bit because he knows it would irk Malfoy to be understated like that.

"I'm not that short" the snake hisses at him and does an angry looking wriggle.

"Sure you're not" Harry deadpans at the snake, which in all fairness isn't all that big, snake-wise speaking.

"You're such a moron" the snake wriggles again as it spits it verdict.

Harry's not proud of it, but he's a little bit offended. It's not like he'd done anything to really offend the snake, so feels justified enough in his indignante at the insult (even though a voice in the back of his head that sounds suspiciously like Malfoy tells him that it's just a snake for Merlíns sake").
"Well, lovely as this conversation has been, I really must be on my way" Harry declares, and stands, dusting his pants off as he does.
He's just saluting the snake and getting ready to leave when it speaks again.

"Potter for gods sake, use at least one of your braincells" the snake hisses between fangs.

Now, let it be known that Harry isn't afraid of snakes, he's really not, but when you're Harry Potter and a snake knows your name it usually doesn't go anywhere good. So he points his wand at the creature and gets ready to blast it to hell and back if needs must.
"How do you know my name?" He asks, wand never wavering, although the serpent doesn't look to concerned as it does another annoyed wiggle. (He wonders briefly if reading snake gesturing is possible because of his sprawl tongue abilities, if it's obvious to everyone or if he's just imagining it, but gets back on track fairly quickly).

"It's me potter" the snake hisses, and when Harry just keeps staring at it blankly it lets out an annoyed hiss (Harry can't help but think that it would be a huff if the snake was human).
"It's Malfoy"