The Initiate (A Divergent fanfic)

Chapter 32.

I wake up a shivering mess and remember I am on a train. I lean my head against the metal wall which is cold against the skin of my scalp. My mouth is dry, I am craving water. Hopefully where ever I get off this train will have some. I needed to get out of Dauntless. I couldn't take it. Being told that I could get killed within a matter of days, my body shivers but it isn't cold. It is the middle of summer at least 30 degrees out there. I stand up and put both of my hands onto the smooth glass of the window to see where I am. My eyes still try to close themselves but I fight to stay awake. Outside of the window I can see green fields that stretch to the sky, red flowers that are scattered like drops of blood in a battlefield. Hardly an appropriate comparison with what I have just found out. I realize that I am heading towards Amity. Again, kind ironic that for so long I wish I chose Amity. If I did then maybe I woulnd't be fearful of maintaining my life. Maybe I wouldn't be covered in bruises and blood. But just maybe, if I did choose Amity then I wouldn't have realized how strong I can be. And I wouldn't have met Connor. I kneel to the floor and let out the tidal of tears that have been building up in my eyes for so long. 

I'm confused, I want to be dead, but I want to be alive, I want to be in Amity, but I want to be in Dauntless. 

I jump off the train when it gets further into Amity. I land onto the grass as people watch in awe. A few smile, a few shake their heads and others watch in fear. Either because I'm Dauntless or because I'm Divergent. Marcus always told me that the Dauntless weren't here to protect us, they were her to scare us and keep us in line. I get it now. As I walk down the grass lane people continue to watch me. I pull the hoop up to conceal myself from their eyes. I continue to walk and I past a set of greenhouses which are topaz coloured from the sun's light. I watch my reflection and I see the broken girl who has been fear full of her life since the day she could walk. 

But the more I look, the more I can feel the effects the Divergence has on me. It is as if I could smash every single bit of glass in the city by the click of my fingers. I turn my head away from the reflection and continue to walk. But my eyes focus on a blond haired girl who is laughing with a bronze skinned male who wears thick black framed glasses. The sort all the Erudite wear to make them seem smarter. She turns her head to the sound of my footsteps and I run to her and wrap my hands around her shoulders. Cheryl has grown slightly since the last time I saw her, her clothes smell of many fruits but her hair carries the same soap scent that the rest of her family carries. She slowly puts her hands on me. 

"R-Ruby what are you doing here? Aren't you suppose to be in initiation?" She asks as I follow her through the wooden hall way of some building. There are white canvases on the wall with many drawings of peaceful things. Rainbows, trees, hearts and one that really gets me is a drawing of a sunset over the Hub whilst people all hold hands. And a quote underneath it, 

“The Wrong is past that is past. You must let it rest where it lies.” 

"If only." I mutter to myself. "Oh I just needed to get out, they're a little crazy." I say scratching my nose. Cheryl raises an eyebrow to me, I notice that the tips of her hair have been dyed a light red and yellow. The colours of Amity. The turns a wooden handle and she opens the door and I follow her into a room. A small room with a table and two chairs which are by the window, a bed and blank canvas that is half painted. By the looks of it she is painting a set of flowers on a river. I have always been pretty envious of Cheryl's artwork in the few rare occasions we could draw together she would make my drawings look like a three year old's. 

"Please take a seat." I pull out a wooden chair and sit on it's red cushion. "I apologize for the mess, I have only just moved in here. We finished initiation weeks ago. Though it was more like a few classes." She says whilst pouring a violet coloured liquid into two light green glasses.