Living Death

- chapter fifteen

Hermione was leaving the library late, she always did forget what time it was when she was studying hard, and it always almost midnight by the time she left. She knew she had to be quiet and go straight to Gryffindor tower in order to avoid Filch, so she kept her head low and an eye out for anyone who could report her for being out of bed.

Unlike the boys, she wasn't one to frequently bend the rules but something about a conversation she began to overhear coming from a nearby potions classroom she passed, peaked her interest. She paused in her stride and backed up slightly, overhearing Professor Snape's tone. It almost sounded as though he was telling someone off but what class was being taught at this hour? She craned her head to try and peak through any gaps in the old wooden door but could only make out his dark cloak through a tiny split in the wood.

"You need to grasp the seriousness of this. You cannot afford to neglect this like you did with your other studies"

"I am trying my best, you're forgetting I've been though a lot lately" a female voice answered back bitterly, one she briefly recognised.

"You'll be going through a lot more if you cannot master this" Snape continued "The dark lord does not rest. He will find out." Hermione could hear him pacing now, but her heart thudded louder in her chest at the mention of Voldemort.

"Unless you want Mr Malfoy to die"

"Don't joke about it like that." The girl retorted with a tearful sort of anger to her voice. Hermione had pressed her ear up closer now to hear everything more clearly.

"Do you truly think I'm joking Miss Y/N?"

Hermione had to hold in her gasp, covering her mouth slightly as her eyes widened. Of course she had believed Harry about seeing you on the map but this was further evidence, and she didn't even have to resort to using the invisibility cloak. She desperately strained to look through the small split in the wood but couldn't seem more than faint outlines in the darkened room.

"I am exhausted please- Professor, It's late" you begged almost, your voice still relatively tearful "I don't want to do this anymore" You almost screamed out, voice cracking at the end, fists slamming against the wood of the chair.

"Has it ever crossed your mind that I too, do not want to do this anymore?" Snape retorted with a clear frustration and matched anger "Neither of us have the luxury of a choice"

You looked at him with a sort of pitiful sadness, gulping back a sob. Sure, you knew Snape had saved you but you had forgotten the true extent of his dedication. He had made the unbreakable vow to protect you, on behalf of Narcissa for Draco. He had been thrown into this mess through no fault of his own and as much as he continued to drive you mad, he had done the absolute to keep you alive. He would die himself if he failed. He wasn't having to pretend he was dead, but he might as well have been a dead man walking. Nothing in this worked in his favour.

You let out a short breath and wiped away some rogue tears. "I'll become an Occlumens, just you see" You looked at him with a new found determination and closed your eyes, ready for him to raise his wand again and repeat the incantation. You were gradually getting better, you could abruptly throw him out of your mind once he got inside, but you hadn't quite been able to consistently shut him out. Snape regained his posture and poised himself ready to continue your lesson. "I will attempt once again to enter your mind. You must resist."

Hermione was well on her way back to Gryffindor Tower now, forgetting to keep her head low as she was desperate to tell the boys about the new discovery she had made, her heart beating rapidly and slightly breathless with adrenaline.

Not only were you alive, but for some dark reason, a reason she would get to the bottom of, you were trying to master the complex art of Occlumency. This wasn't just about curiosity now, this was getting dangerous.