Living Death

- chapter twenty nine

The moment you both got to Draco's room you collapsed to the floor, falling to your knees and staring at the wall in utter disbelief, silent tears rolling down your cheeks. Draco began pacing the room and ran his fingers through his hair slowly, neither of you saying a word. You stayed silent, you couldn't process this.

There wasn't a way out.

Every possible alternative had been exhausted.

The double doors to his room suddenly flew open without warning and you both looked up, Snape stood there silhouetted by the light of the corridor behind him, looking down at you and then across to the rather worked up Draco.

"Don't do anything stupid." He stormed over to Draco and grabbed his collar suddenly, pinning him up against the column of his four-poster bed. "I mean it." He didn't want Draco in his fury, attempting to personally take down Voldemort himself.

"Please.." You stood up weakly and watched as Snape let go of Draco, staring at you now. You moved closer and grabbed Snape's arm desperately, almost shaking him. "There has to be an alternative.."

Snape couldn't look at you, his dark blank eyes boring deep into the wall behind you. He didn't have an alternative. He hadn't prepared for this outcome.

"Come on" You shook his arm a little more and your voice cracked as you broke into a sob but all he did was pull his arm from your grasp and shake his head. Draco let out a loud growl in frustration and you heard him punch the wall as you let out a frantic plea, "Please- Severus-"

"There's no alternative." He interrupted instantly "If you refuse the mark, you'll be killed for non-compliance. I will die instantly.. and the Malfoys will likely find themselves dead or pariahs at the very least" Snape turned to leave, patting down his slightly dishevelled robe after your grasp on it "Rest for now. We have some time to prepare the formalities of the initiation. I will discuss things with the others."

You sat on Draco's bed in defeat as Snape left, letting out a shaken sigh as you stared blankly ahead. "It's just a mark, nothing more" You whispered to reassure yourself, rubbing your arm, the cold chill of the night beginning to creep in.

"Just a mark? God, you really are an idiot." Draco suddenly scoffed and leant up against the wall opposite you, folding his arms over his chest. His heart was pounding with worry and fury yet you seemed to be taking it with indifference.

You looked at him with contempt. He wasn't teasing you anymore, his voice was laced with venom and you hated it.

"What? You think it's just some pretty tattoo?" Draco raised his brow and almost laughed in disbelief, shaking his head.

"I am simply attempting to try and accept my fate, I don't have the luxury of choice like the rest of you" You stood up and turned your back to him as you busied yourself, looking for your bag. You didn't want to stay with him when he was behaving like this.

"You think I chose it?" Draco scoffed again and shook his head, watching you. "I didn't have any fucking choice either. My father was locked up, it was the only way I could get him out of there"

"Like he would've done the same for you" You snapped, clutching your bag to yourself as you walked past him, "I think the evil of the mark is beginning to seep into your personality"

You headed out of his room, refusing to stay in there a moment longer. He was being vile and you didn't need his immaturity right now. The corridors were dark and unforgiving at this late hour but it seemed busier than it had been in the day with most Deatheaters favouring the night. You approached the room you used to stay in as a kid over the summer months, smiling sadly to yourself. It would comfort you staying in a familiar room.

The door was open and slightly ajar and you almost stepped in before you notice Yaxley, the Carrows and a few other Deatheaters inside. They instantly stopped mid-conversation and looked at you with contempt. The room wasn't as you remembered it, there was no longer a bed, simply a table littered with various alcoholic beverages, potions and parchment. Yaxley locked eyes with yours and began to head towards you, you felt your breath hitch in the back of your throat and you froze out of fear. You wanted to yell out, tell them that was your room, but the entire manor had become overrun with Deatheaters, not a crevice left untouched. Nowhere was yours anymore.

You felt a pair of arms wrapping around you from behind, tugging you back out of the doorway into the corridor suddenly before Yaxley could get any closer. Draco moved from behind you and stood in front of you as Yaxley approached you both outside of the room, leaning up against the doorframe with folded arms.

"Y/N is it?" He looked you up and down slowly as Draco moved further in front of you, clearly attempting to rile up the younger Malfoy.

"Yes. And what is it to you?" Draco replied acrimoniously. He hated the other Deatheaters being near you, especially one as incredibly vile as Corban Yaxley.

"I recognised her, her parents are part of the Ministry are they not? They're very compliant with our new rules." He wasn't threatened by Draco, his tone almost teasing "I didn't even need to use the Imperius Curse."

"Well, I am glad." You replied bitterly with a forced smile before glaring at him over Draco's shoulder. He smirked, eyes on yours and you grabbed Draco's arm firmly to stop him from starting something he couldn't finish.

"Keep her under control. I have a feeling she might prove difficult." Yaxley mockingly patted Draco's shoulder, looking at you with distrust, practically seeing past your facade before turning back into the room and closing the door behind him.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing!?" You demanded suddenly in a hushed voice and shoved Draco's back a little, pushing him away from you. "I'm perfectly capable of fighting my own corner."

"You can't just walk around like that.. It isn't safe here anymore" Draco turned to you and reached for your hand, but you pulled back instantly, shaking your head firmly.

"It isn't safe anywhere anymore!" You looked at him, attempting to keep a certain level of bitterness but your voice broke a little. Hogwarts wasn't safe. The Manor wasn't safe. Nowhere was. You had nothing anymore. What were you even fighting for? What was the point of trying so hard to stay alive in a world like this?

He looked at you sadly, he had never quite got used to your usual optimism. Your reassurances were blessings to him but he had never understood them entirely. Even in the darkest of times, you were a fighter, you were never one to give in easily. Back in his room, you were simply trying to reassure yourself the mark wasn't hard to face. It was his turn to be optimistic now your optimistic self was slipping away. He couldn't lose you again.

He brought you into his arms slowly. You didn't even feel like pushing him away now, letting yourself give into him as his hold encased you. His scent reminded you of the Potions lessons studying Amortentia, his intense aroma filling your nostrils the moment the lid was lifted off the cauldron. Your cheeks instantly glowing red as you looked across to him, realising he was looking in your direction too. You never knew you'd be longing to return to boring old double Potions on a Friday afternoon. Anything to escape your current death sentence.

"It's safe here" He whispered softly, hand stroking the back of your head slowly, petting your hair as he closed his eyes. You buried your face in the crook of his neck and clung to his shirt. He was right. You felt safe with him, you felt safe in his arms. You didn't like fighting with him, and now was not the time to argue, you had bigger fights to face. You had to be there for each other.