all i need is a hug

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a/n ; unrelated, but i failed my
science test
today
and i
cheated

summary: louis constantly feels ignored by his friends and just wants a hug

warning: this chapter contains a small portion of self harm. do not read if that triggers you.
♥️♥️

also the ages aren't accurate cos i'm almost finished the one shot as i'm writing this part and i just fucking realized the twins would be four but i imagined them as 12 year olds 🤺

louis' pov

i want to cry.

in someways i also want to die.

of course, i could never do that to my mom but some days i feel so lonely, i wonder if i would finally be happy in the afterlife.

i used to have my sisters as friends, but then they got real friends and decided hanging out with their big brother wasn't cool. i just feel so alone, all the fucking time. it's not that i don't have people in my life - i do. i have friends at school; stan, wesley, mark and ollie. i don't know if i would even consider them friends anymore. i met stan in year 3 and we've been friends ever since. stan and i met wesley in year 4 and then mark and ollie in year 6. i don't know when they stopped listening to my stories, or stopped laughing at my jokes, but it just doesn't happen anymore.

~~~

the end of they day bell rings and i hurry to get to where my friends are - if i don't get there in time i am 100% sure they would leave without me.

thankfully, i make it before wesley so we all wait for him.

"hey," i say happily to the group. nobody acknowledges me.

"WESLEEYYYY!" stan exclaims when he sees his ginger friend come around the corner, a girl clinging to his waist. i sigh, that boy has got a new girl attached to him every other day.

"hey boys, meet my new girl, uhmm," it appears wesley has forgotten her name already.

"i'm emily," she smiles kindly. i hope wes doesn't screw her over too bad, she's the nicest girl this month.

"this is emily, we met in french class," he properly introduces her.

"okay, i have to go, wes, but i'll see you tomorrow," emily says before going to leave to her group of friends, but wesley pulls her back. "what?" she asks impatiently.

"don't i get a kiss?" wesley whines.

"we met today, i'm not kissing you," she states before shoving her arm out of his grip and stomping back to her friends.

"eh, she'll come around by tonight. i always get what i want," wesley says darkly.

"you shouldn't make her do stuff she isn't ready for," i explain.

"it doesn't matter, louis," is the harsh reply i get in return.

~~~

all throughout the walk, i attempt to add something funny to the conversation. i try to share my opinions. they don't even wait for me to finish talking before another one of them pipes up. whenever mark says something funny they all laugh. his jokes don't even make sense.

i stop in my tracks, they keep walking. i didn't stop to look at anything, i stopped to see if they would notice. they don't turn around once. as soon as they turn the corner around the block, i switch directions and take a left towards the park.

the park is where most of the kids go after school to hangout with friends or do homework. i love being at the park, i enjoy watching people socialize and often i make up fake personas for random strangers.

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