✔️ ILLICIT DESIRES | 18 +

Chapter 17

Her psychologist told me that this promise would give her a feeling of safety around me after she had witnessed how I slew some men during her rescue.

Wanting her to feel safe around me, I promised her I wouldn't hurt innocents. I hadn't killed an innocent soul anyway since Antonio took over.

I only murdered innocents during Antonio's father's reign as he didn't care who died as long as he got what he wanted in the end, but his reign was over.

Therefore, I thought I could easily hold my promise I gave to her as capo cared about innocents until he told me to kill Miguel Barrera's daughter.

When I stood before her with my gun against her head, I knew I fucked it up, as I couldn't pull the trigger while thinking about the promise I gave Mia.

The promise I gave her stopped me from killing her, but my promise was only one of the reasons that stopped from killing her.

Another reason why I couldn't kill Rita was because she reminded me of my sister. She was also captured by her own family for years before getting sold to Nicolai for power and money.

As I had halfway pulled the trigger, I asked myself what my difference would I have from these scumbags who exploited my sister for years.

And the answer was:

No difference.

Therefore, I couldn't pull the trigger to the end.

I knew capo would fuck me up if he'd find out I didn't kill Rita but I couldn't break Mia's faith in me.

It took her long enough to trust me and let me near her. I didn't want to disappoint her. She was my family, and I wanted her to know she could rely on me.

My sister was one of the rare souls in this world I loved and cared for. And I haven't been able to visit her for a long time and missed her.

I just hoped she wouldn't be mad at me that I couldn't visit her lately.

*****

As I finally got there, I parked the car in front of her house and got out. She lived outside the town as she preferred to be alone and didn't like interacting with people.

She didn't have many visitors anyway, only Valerio, Helena and me. I didn't ring the doorbell, I had keys, so I invited myself in.

I headed towards the living room and leaned against the doorframe as I saw her lightning up a paper in front of the chimney.

After we had rescued her, she had nightmares, but she didn't want to talk with her psychologist about her nightmares.

I couldn't bear to watch her waking up in tears and fear to sleep.  Therefore, I tried to persuade her to talk with someone about her nightmares in order to get rid of them.

But she said she was too ashamed to talk about what really happened to her. I told that to her psychologist and we found a way to help her with her nightmares.

We suggested her to write her nightmares and fears down, if she didn't want to talk. And writing really helped her to overcome the emotional pain of her past. That way she let out the pain she was burying within her.

"You haven't visited me in a long time," she said, throwing the paper into the chimney as she didn't want anyone to read what she wrote.

"Sorry, I've been busy lately," I told her sheepishly, walking up to her and kissing her head. "With what?" she asked me with a small smile on her face.

She rarely smiled, and I loved it when she could smile after everything she went through.

"I needed vacation after dealing with Helena and her demons for years. And after coming back from my vacation, I was sent on a mission," I explained her, slumping onto my couch.