How It Should Have Been: Sokeefe AU

Episode 40: (Keefe's POV)

"Preferably until you were over her." Keefe regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, and he knew he would have reacted the same way as Fitz's fists tightened and his breath whooshed out of him furiously.

"Oh, I see. So my feelings, my thoughts mean nothing to you? You never thought 'Hey, maybe Fitz actually genuinely likes Sophie, so kissing her and confusing her while they're dating and making them break up wouldn't be a good idea'? And then after you decided to do just that, you thought, 'Whoops! Guess they're broken up now, it's a good time to make my move on Sophie, Fitz will get over it' and then, 'Hey, let's not tell him about it until a few years have passed and he's moved on, and in the meantime, I should try to become his friend again so he'll really feel the good ol' trust stomping that I excel at when he finally takes his head out of his butt and realizes we're dating'?"

His voice broke on the last word. Fitz didn't even sound angry anymore. He did, of course, but he sounded more... resigned.

Betrayed.

Keefe was speechless. There really wasn't a response to that, because it was all true. "I... we're not dating."

"But you would be, if not for me, correct? She does like you, I know that." Fitz closed his eyes, tearing his fingers through his hair. "You're not dating... yet."

The utter betrayal in that sentence almost broke Keefe's heart, and he could feel that somewhere during the conversation, Fitz's emotions had changed from absolute anger to be mixed with sadness, and resignation.

"You know the worst part?" Fitz raised his head, and his eyes were filled with equal fury and regret. "The worst part is that I was right. I knew this would happen, but because I acted on that, I made it happen."

"Fitz," Keefe whispered, guilt filling his mind. "I'm... so sorry. I wish I could go back. I wish I could..." But he couldn't finish the sentence, because he wouldn't go back. He wouldn't change a thing about what had happened even though it ended up here. And he knew that made him a terrible person but he still didn't want it to change, because now he was (sorta) with Sophie.

"I wish this didn't have to happen," he said finally. This, he meant. Because he missed Fitz, and he wished they could be friends again. He wanted them to be young, before any of this mess had happened and they could just be kids again.

But they couldn't, and Keefe had made his mistakes. Now, all he could do was hope for Fitz to accept his apology.

But the telepath shook his head.

"That's not good enough. I can't... look at you, or her without seeing you kissing, hours after we broke up. I can't trust you."

"So... what?" Keefe whispered, bracing himself.

"I think... I need some time. Maybe I'll be able to be friends with you again. I want to be able to trust you... but... I don't know. I need to think," Fitz told him, his voice soft. He looked away, but not before Keefe caught a hint of tears in his teal eyes.

His own ice blue eyes started to water at the thought, but he nodded. He'd said all he could. It was up to Fitz now.

"For what it's worth," Keefe murmured as he held his home crystal up to the light streaming in his window. "I trust you. And she always did."

Fitz glanced over, holding his gaze as the blonde began to glitter away. His mouth moved, but Keefe didn't catch the words that came out before the warm feathers whisked him away, teal eyes burning into his vision for a long while later.

...

(Fitz's POV)

He couldn't move. He could hardly breathe.