A True Devilish Angel, Maybe Angelic Devil (Complete)

A Cruel Dream

"Ugh... My head... What happened...?"

"Elos! Are you alright!? You just fell out of that tree..." A familiar voice said, coming over but the face was blurry to me.

I recognize her anyway, she's my social worker, a nice woman, but she'd want nothing to do with me if this wasn't her job. "Yes, I am quite alright... Where's Kilin?"

"He is in your room, taking a nap I suppose, come on now, it's time for you to meet some other angels." She smiles, though I can only tell because she was always smiling, I guess.

"Right... Other angels... What if they hate me?"

"Oh silly, you're a wonderful little angel Elos." She picked me up, holding me close. "I can't imagine any angel not liking you."

"But you don't like me."

She paused, looking at me in her arms. "Where did you get that idea?"

"If you liked me, I wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't have fallen out of that tree, you were watching me the whole time. I wouldn't have fallen off the rocks, because you were standing right there. You always come after and ask if I'm okay, but you never check for injuries or even to see if I'm sad. You don't like me, you like your job, I'm just part of it."

She got all quiet and just carried me the way to the park. When they met eyes with me, the angels scattered and I was alone with my social worker. She let me wonder by myself, so I just sat by the pond, were a blonde angel was playing with her friend.

They noticed me eventually and the blonde angel ran over with a bright smile I've never been used to seeing.

"Hai! I've seen you before, but you looked like you didn't want to talk to anybody, I'm Raf! Do you want to talk now?" She held out both her hands while her friend hid behind her.

I stared at the girl for what felt like hours, then took her hands and nodded. "I'm... Elos... I've never really talked to anyone before..."

She giggled, "well you can talk to me all the time Elos! We're friends now! This is Urie, she's my bestest friend ever!"

The angel peeked out from behind her and waved, "n-nice to meet you."

I nodded, then tried to take my hands away, but she held me tighter.

"Come on, let's play! It'll be so fun!" She started pulling me along, and for me, it was like the sun had entered my dark and lonely world.

For the first time, I had an angel my angel to play with and talk to.

But that was the only time. After that, we'd only barely pass each other, and never truly spoke.

My sunshine, the angel that gave me hope, was Raf.

The angel that smiled at me and wasn't afraid to hold my hand, that never walked away when she saw me, that helped me be...me.

That angel... Hurt me.

I felt like I was watching my past outside of my own body, looking at my younger self, who admired the only angel that never hated me. Who would have thought that the angel I admired, with kiss the devil I fell in love with.

My heart couldn't take it, and I'm already a fragile little thing. I can only look on at my own life, how I tried to build up the courage to talk to others because of her, how I grew my hair out because of her, how I wore skirts, and dresses because she complimented me once.

What was all of that?

I took that little bit of attention and warmth and used it for years to make myself feel better. I used it to get through my days of loneliness and self loathing, but now?

What do I do now? I don't have that anymore.

The devil I loved and the Angel I admired, they left me behind to be together.

The devil, the first devil to really treat me like an angel... What did I even see in him?

This is the first time I've been lost in my own head, and I can only hope it will be the last...

"Temptation is a very devilish thing, isn't it?"

I've never been this sad in my life... I don't know what to do with myself.

"Love is cruel, hatred is a devil's trait, why not give in?"

I'm supposed to know what I am and what I'm feeling at all times, but why can't I even understand myself?

"Let the devils play, send the halo away."

My halo... Right, what happened to my halo? My powers? What happened to me?

I look around in the darkness, the only light being a misty river in front of me, and then I understood. I walked into the river of bright mist and sat there. My wings had changed, and before I knew it, so had my feelings on the situation. I'm content with this choice I made.

"I can't be an angel anyway, so why not be a devil? Who needs to be good, when deception works best. I'll leave my halo behind, I don't need to be an angel...."

I'll show them.

I'll show them all.

How to be a real devil.