Incriminate Me

6: Walking the edge

"Love you too."

My friend from Harvard is in town. Bella has always been the prettier one, the one that excelled at everything without having to work for it. She is all long legs. One of those girls that complains about not gaining weight when she also insists on dieting.

I've always admired her. Maybe a part of me always wanted to be her.

There are 2 types of people. Those who are desired. And those that aren't.

Wherever we went, she was wanted by men and women alike. It helps that she is a pansexual queen, that dominates in both the bedroom and the court.

While I went for criminal law, she focused in on family law. She deals with the rich old men that want to divorce and marry their hot new thing.

She twirls her celery juice, eyeing me,

"You doing okay Ele?"

I look up at her and smile,

"Tired that's all."

She rolls her eyes,

"Bitch, like you ever haven't been? I can remember with clarity those nights in the dorms where you wouldn't sleep for days on end."

I give her a lovingly annoyed look,

"Some of us had to work hard for those grades."

I can see the boost of her ego in her eyes, she laughs, it is still a high sound. It reminds me of all those days we spent that one summer exploring Paris on her Mother's credit card.

"I may have slept more, but you still would beat me by some stupid decimal point."

I smile slightly. I can't seem to fully complete it. Not when my life is burning down around me, lit on fire by golden eyes and a silver gun.

She studies me for a moment,

"Are you having guy problems or something?"

I almost snort, that's one way of putting it.

"No, Tanner is great."

She arches a brow,

"Yeah sure he is. How's your sex life?"

I know her well enough to not be shocked. It is my turn to roll my eyes,

"It's fine."

She flicks long blonde hair over her shoulder,

"He is away weeks at a time and when he comes back you get that good trustworthy vanilla shit."

I don't even blush, instead I sigh,

"I don't have time for more than that anyways."

She shakes her head, lips pursing,

"You never loved him. Not back then, not now."

I can't lie to her, she knows me too well. I shrug, eyes dipping to my now cold coffee,

"He is good to me. He loves me. And I do love him, not like that... But in my own way."

She wrinkles her nose,

"When he first came up to us at that party he asked me to dance, not you. He crushed on me for 6 months straight and got close to you to get close to me."

I raise my eyes and look at her. She isn't trying to hurt me. She is trying to tell me that I am wasting my time. Her green eyes are filled with love, I know my blue are filled with a deep sadness.