Our Substantial Hopes (High School Teen Series #1) [COMPLETED]

23

"Hey, are you okay?" Nabigla ako sa boses ng taong nasa pintuan ng kwarto ko. Nakalimutan ko pa lang isarado ang pinto.

"What brings you here?" I asked with dullness.

"Did you even listen to my question?" he mocked, asking and I just rolled my eyes.

"Kung mang-aasar ka lang, umalis ka na." Pagtataboy ko sa kanya.

He just smirked and he crossed his arms over his chest. He then sat on my bed and his gaze wandered around my room. Ano na namang pakulo nitong baliw na 'to?

"I saw him..." Nabitiwan ko bigla ang ballpen ko nang dahil sa narinig ko galing sa kanaya. 

Hindi ko na lang siya pinansin at kinuha ang ballpen at nagsulat na lang ulit. 'Yon lang ba ang ipinunta niya rito?

"I was about to go for a jog when I saw him... in front of our house." Parang akong sinampal ng sarili niyang mga salita na siyang pumukaw sa nararamdaman ko nang husto.

"Ano namang pake ko roon?" I asked trying to act like I don't care.

"Don't act that you don't care. It doesn't suit you."

"Bakit kung bibigyan ko ba 'yan ng pake... may magbabago ba?"

"I'm not sure of that... but you're a grown-up woman... can handle and decide for yourself. Not just a daughter of Noel Villanueva... making grown-up decisions and striving to manage it all," he scoffed, repeating what I said back that night.

"Kung wala ka namang ibang gawin kun'di asarin ako, mas mabuting umalis ka na bago pa lumipad 'tong pencil case ko sa'yo!"

He just laughed and instead he went near me then patted my head. Nagulat ako sa inasta niya kaya inilayo ko ang kamay niya at nagtatakang tumingin sa kanya.

"Don't let your happiness be taken away," he simply said and went already outside.

I just froze for a moment, thinking about what he said. Happiness? I think it's not given freely, it's conditional. Someone must suffer in order to be happy, how ironic right?

Pain is the substitute for happiness and we can't do anything about it because when it comes around nothing will stop it nor prevent it to happen. On the other side, half of ourselves betray us, keeping us in the dark where hopes are vividly seen and felt.

I can't afford losing myself just because I can't lose someone too. Someone must sacrifice and it's me. Mahirap pero wala na akong magagawa. Araw-araw alam ko sa sarili ko na masakit, lalo na't matagal din kaming nagsama. 

Napasandal na lang ako sa inuupuan ko at nanatiling nakatitig sa kisame. Napaisip ako sa mga hiniling ko sa mga bituin noon. Those wishes were serve as words only, nothing more, nothing less. I guess the stars weren't on our side too.

I sighed heavily just to ease the stress I have right now. I can't even focus on what I was doing. Things got messy in my head. Tumayo na lang ako at pumunta sa kama at humiga. Ipinikit ko ang aking mata at 'di namalayan nakatulog na pala ako.

Kinabukasan, nasa bahay lang ako at nanatili lang sa kuwarto ko. Bumababa lang ako kapag may kailangan sa baba o kakain na.

Walang nagbago sa amin ng ama ko. Hindi pa rin kami nagkaiimikan hanggang ngayon. Palagi akong sinasabihan ni Mommy na suyuin ko siya pero palagi ko namang isinasawalang bahala.

Hindi naman sa nagtatampo at nagagalit ako sa kanya pero ayaw ko lang talaga dahil na rin nahihiya ako sa kanya o wala lang talaga akong masabi.

Lilipas din ang lahat at alam kong magiging maaayos din ito. Pamilya muna ang susubakan kong ayusin... tutal 'yong sa amin ni Zack kaya na namin sa sarili ang maayos kami pareho sa nangyari. Hindi muna ngayon pero balang araw.