The Burning Desire

Chapter 49

Tumango lamang siya.

I thought that Jordan would be mad at me—like really mad, considering that I kept his son away from him. However, he is calm right now. Probably because he is still in shock.

Maybe after this, tomorrow, I can talk to him about everything. Alam ko naman na magtatanong siya. Hindi lamang niya ito magawa ngayon dahil gusto niya ng makilala ang anak niya.

I'm also pretty sure that we might argue. Mas mabuti nga kung bukas na lamang dahil baka maabutan kami ni Xanley.

Kumalabog ang aking puso ng makita si Kuya na nakatingin sa amin mula sa malayo. Soon after, I heard the familiar sound of my parents car.

Huminga ako ng malalim bago tumayo at tinignan si Jordan.

"Stay here, I'll talk to Xanley muna so I can t-tell him." Iminuwestra ko sa kaniya muli ang upuan.

Nag-igting ang kaniya panga at sa huli ay umupo na lamang muli.

Kinakabahan akong lumapit sa aming pinto upang salubungin ang aking magulang at anak.

"I-I enjoyed it lola!" I heard the familiar giggles of my son.

"Reign!" Tawag sa akin ni Mommy ng makita ako. Hindi pa nakikita si Jordan sa likod. Habang si Daddy naman ay napatigil.

I hugged them both and went to Xanley before lifting him from the ground.

"Mama!" I heard him say before kissing my face.

I smiled.

Tumingin ako kay Mommy at nakita na nakaawang ang kaniyang bibig.

"It's fine. I already told him." Mahinang bulong ko sa kaniya.

Tumango si Mommy at hinawakan na ang braso ni Daddy. They walked away from us.

I started to walk towards Jordan's direction. Halfway through it ay ibinaba ko na si Xanley at hinarap siya sa akin.

"Hey baby." I smiled before kissing his cheeks.

Nakaluhod ako habang pinapakinggan ang pagsasalita ni Xanley. Mentioning how his day went with his grandparents.

"You should go with me next time Mama! I'm sure you will enjoy it." He laughed before giving me another embrace.

Natawa rin ako ng maalala na noon ay sinabi niyang ayaw na ayaw niyang naglalaro. Looks like he enjoys playing too.

"Xanley, baby." Malambing kong sabi. "Do you remember the reason why we went home here?" Dahan-dahan kong wika habang hinahawakan ang kaniyang pisngi.

He smiled. "Yes, Mam-." Hindi natapos ang kaniyang sasabihin ng biglang dumapo ang kaniyang tingin kay Jordan na ngayon ay nakatayo na.

Nakakunot ang noo ni Xanley habang pinagmamasdan si Jordan.

Huminga ako ng malalim.

"Xanley," Bigkas ko upang makuhang muli ang kaniyang atensyon. "I-I know how much you want to meet your Papa, right?" Parang may bukol sa aking lalamunan habang pinagmamasdan ang kuryosong ekspresyon ng aking anak.

Naramdaman ko ang dahan-dahang paglapit sa amin ni Jordan at ang pag-upo niya sa aking tabi.

"I-is he my Papa?" Nakita ko ang pangingilid ng luha sa mata ni Xanley. Nakaawang ang kaniyang labi habang tinuturo si Jordan na nakangiti sa kaniya.

A tear has escaped Jordan's eyes before he smiled.

Ngumiti ako sa kaniya at dahan-dahang tumango.

"R-really mama?" Napalunok ako at tumangong muli.

"Yes, baby. He is your P-papa." I said, trying so hard not to let my tears escape. "You can hug your Papa, Xanley." Ginulo ko ang kaniyang buhok at iminuwestra si Jordan sa kaniyang direksyon.

Tumayo ako at humakbang na kaunti upang titigan silang dalawa.

Mabilis at mahigpit na yinakap ni Jordan si Xanley habang siya ay nakaluhod. Hawak niya ang ulo ni Xanley habang ang kamay naman ng anak namin ay nasa kaniyang leeg, nakapulupot doon.

"Papa!" Isiniksik ni Xanley ang kaniyang ulo sa leeg ni Jordan.

Malalakas na hikbi ang kaniyang pinakawalan habang patuloy na tinatawag si Jordan.

My heart broke at the scene in front of me, not because I am sad but because I am happy to see Xanley with his Papa.

"X-xanley." Sambit ni Jordan sa kaniyang anak. He kissed Xanley's forhead.

Pinunasan ko ang luhang nagbabadyang lumabas sa aking mata. Hinawakan ko ang aking dibdib dahil sa pagsikip nito.

I smiled happy.

I should have done this a long time ago. I know that Xanley does not deserve to grow up without his father, the same goes to Jordan. I am so selfish for taking away their rights from each other. I should have not stole the moments that they could have spend together

I know that my pain before was not an excuse to do this. Regardless of what I felt, I should have thought about Xanley first.

Looking at him right now, crying at his father's arms. I can feel every ounce of regret of my impulsive decision before.

Umawang ang aking bibig.

Xanley has been longing for his father all of his life. I was so stupid to think that I could fill that void. Oo, sa tingin ko ay naging mabuti naman akong ina para sa kaniya ngunit iba pa rin iyong mayroon siyang nakapiling na tatay.

"W-where were you Papa?" Humihikbing tanong ni Xanley kay Jordan.

I bit my lower lip. Tumingin sa akin si Jordan.

"X-xanley, it's because Ma-." Hindi ko pa man natatapos ang sasabihin ko ay pinutol na ako ni Jordan.

"Papa's bad right? Sorry for not being with you, Xanley." He smiled at Xanley while wiping his tears. "I won't go now, I'll stay with you." Narinig ko na bulong niya rito.

"Don't go anywhere, P-papa." Xanley whispered using his tiny voice.

"I won't go anywhere else, little boy. I'll stay and take care of you, okay? Is that alright with you?" Jordan said with his raspy voice before pulling our son into a tight embrace again.

Lumapit na ako sa direksyon nilang dalawa.

"Jordan, can you pick Xanley up? Let's go to his room." Sabi ko upang makapag-usap pa silang dalawa ng pribado.

Jordan nodded at me. Dahan-dahan niyang binuhat si Xanley at naglakad na kasunod ko upang makaakyat sa kwarto.

I opened Xanley's room. Dumiretso ako sa gilid ng kama niya habang binaba naman ni Jordan si Xanley na umangal pa.

"No! I want to be with you Papa." Buong lakas na sinabi ni Xanley.

I heard Jordan chuckled. "Alright, Xanley, I'll stay with you." He whispered before laying down beside his son.

I nodded at him.

Mas mabuti nga siguro kung dito na siya matutulog. Mukha rin naman na hindi siya papayagan ni Xanley na umalis sa kaniyang kwarto.

I slowly walked towards the sofa to sit while looking at them. I saw how Xanley was really eager to ask questions to his father who is patiently listening to him.

"P-papa, we really look alike." Xanley giggled while tracing his fathers face.

"Of course, you're my son Xanley." Mariing ginawaran ni Jordan ang kaniyang anak ng halik sa noo.