if i could drown in you, would you let me

what i think about

He woke up in the field again, it was dusk the sun barely illuminating the flowers that had almost overtaken the entire field. They were taunting him, he could hear George's voice floating across the wind. "Yeah, Dream, you'd be such a pretty flower." The voice grew louder and louder until he could feel it in his head until the words were branded across his skull.

"I wonder," said George breathlessly," what flower you'd actually be." George's lips were practically on Dream's ear, his hot breath spilling down Dream's neck. Dream's breath hitched as George moved his head down to allow his lips to graze Dream's uncovered neck. Dream leaned back into George basking in the attention his eyes closing slightly. Something snapped around his face, his eyes shot open, he couldn't move. He couldn't speak. He looked around wildly, his surrounding suddenly seeming massive.

"So," boomed George's voice from above. "A white rose, interesting." Something was squeezing him pushing any air he still held out of his lungs. Distantly, he felt his legs snap. He rose into the air, higher and higher until he was level with George's face.

"My pretty little flower," George said, but his voice was different, it was deeper, stronger, louder. "How would you look without your petals?" It felt like chunks of his brain were being ripped out as George stole his petals, one by one. When George finally finished, Dream couldn't think, he barely existed anymore. He didn't notice what George said next, he didn't notice as he fell, or when the world turned dark. The last thing he recognized was the bottom of George's foot coming down at his faster, and faster, and faster, and-

Dream woke up in a cold sweat immediately reaching up to feel his head. He was still intact. He was still intact. It was another dream, another nightmare featuring the one and only GeorgeNotFound. He sat up still trying to catch his breath. He couldn't stop his thoughts; he couldn't stop his brain from pushing him further and further into hell. He needed to bury this fixation he had developed. Ignoring it hadn't helped. He had just fed into it instead, he'd let himself get so flustered he dreamt he was a flower that George tore apart.

He laid in his bed splayed drowning in his own thoughts. He turned his head slightly to watch the moon's soft beams stream into his room. Was George up right now? Was he sitting by himself like Dream was, staring at the same moon wishing they were together? Could George hear Dream's heart calling out to him, screaming into the void of lost affection?

No, George was home sleeping off the day ignorant of the moon and the stars, ignorant of Dream. Dream pushed himself up off his bed and stalked over to the window fully intent on shutting the curtains. But as he gripped the white linen and stared up at the moon he just stopped. Even if George was asleep, even if he was almost 5000 miles away, he was still under that same moon. He might still be able to hear him.

"Hi George," he whispered as the ghost of a smile flickered across his face. "I know you're out there." His knuckles turned white as his grip on the curtains tightened. He'd truly gone insane, talking to the moon? This wasn't a Bruno Mars song, this was his life, he was real, and he was standing there about to tell the world his darkest secret.

"I just want you to know, you're killing me," he confessed bitterly into the night air. "I love you so much it's killing me. You've consumed me, every thought I think is for you, every dream, every nightmare, I live it all for you.

"Each night you visit me, pulling me in closer and closer and closer, just to kill me in the end. How could you do that? Huh? How can you just sit there unaware of how you rip me apart every night and every day?

"God I need it to stop, I need you to stop. I can't live like this anymore, I can't sit there watching you knowing my heart only beats to hear you laugh. That my mind only thinks to watch you smile.

"I hate you," he spat, tears freely streaming down his face. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you-" he pulled on his curtains so hard they ripped off his wall, he fell to the floor still clutching them unable to let go. His chest heaved in silent sobs.

"FUCK!" He yelled before slamming his hands down on his wooden floors. He ripped at the curtains pulling them apart just to feel something other than the pressure building in his chest. He cursed again as his hands started to throb. God, he was pathetic, he just confessed his feelings to the damn moon because he knew George could see it too, because maybe just maybe, he was staring at the same moon.

He whipped his head around to look at his phone, silently he prayed for it to ring. He willed George to wake up, to call him. To say something, anything. He just wanted to hear George's voice, he wanted to hear words that were only meant for himself. He wanted something to cherish, something all for himself.

His phone started ringing, Dream froze. Had George really heard him? For just a moment, just one, Dream allowed his heart to soar before it was crushed again. It was Sapnap. He didn't pick up at first, he just let it ring staring at his friend's photo. Staring at the wrong friend's photo. The screen faded to black before almost immediately starting to ring again, Sap wasn't going to stop. Shit. He wiped the tears from his face trying to find his composure.

"Hello?" He asked answering the phone trying to keep his voice from wavering. "What's up?"

"What is wrong with you?" Asked Sapnap bluntly. Dream didn't say a word at first.

"I uh," he said eventually. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Bullshit," replied Sapnap. Dream could practically see the look on his friend's face. He was so fucked.

A/N This chapter is a lil short but that is simply because brain hurty :) As always thank you for reading Chapter four! If you have anything to say please leave it in the comments and leave a kudos if you enjoyed it. Chapter Five will be posted by the end of next week, see you then :)