if i could drown in you, would you let me

you find out

"What did you just say?"

"Nothing, I've, I didn't, what?" Said Sapnap immediately trying to backpedal. Dream just sat there reeling. That didn't just happen, Sapnap didn't say anything. And if he did, he played it off smoothly. This is the land of delusion, and Dream is the president.

"Dream's right, you are being an asshole," said George shaking his head. "I've gotta get back to the stream so you better shut up." George pressed a few buttons before addressing his chat again. Dream still hadn't said anything, he just sat there in stunned silence. He was too afraid his voice would betray him if he did speak.

i am so sorry. Even that message didn't feel real. Dream was in one of his nightmares again, right? This was a nightmare, it had to be.

what the fuck, he responded, his hands shaking. Dream wiped away a tear he hadn't realized he cried. He ignored Sapnap's response.

He didn't speak for the rest of the stream, and of course, George's chat noticed. Every other message was about his absence. They trended on Twitter. Everyone couldn't help but draw the comparison to Heatwaves, if only they knew how right they were. He hadn't even been able to process it all when his screen changed.

STREAM ENDED

The call was silent until the notification sound signaling someone left. He was left there, just him and George. Dream's breaths started to come quicker, he couldn't find a comfortable position to sit in.

"Dream, are you there?" Asked George eventually. The sound of his voice made Dream want to cry again.

"Yeah," he whispered. He had to keep his sentences short, he didn't know what he'd say if he just started talking.

"Are you okay?" Truth or lie, lie, or truth. Dream's walls were crashing down, his carefully constructed life, his most important friendship, fractured in a second. Reality had come crashing down.

"Yeah," he lied. These were the most important lies of his life, right? He could fix this. He had to. All he had to do was lie.

"Was he telling the truth?" Said George, his voice deep and gravely. Dream used to love it when he sounded like that, but now each word was a dagger twisting deeper and deeper into his heart.

"Yeah," he responded truthfully. There was no way to play that one off. No way without George knowing he was lying. And somehow that was worse.

"Dream, I..." he trailed off trying to find the right words. "I'm flattered, but..." There it was. "But." George didn't feel anything for him, he never had and he never would. Dream had to hold it together, he had to put the pieces back together. In whatever way he could. Even as he felt his heart abandon his body, even if he knew he might never be okay again.
    "Oh yeah I know," laughed Dream, his voice as shaky as his hands. Stay calm, pull it together. "It's not a big thing, just a little crush. I've practically moved on."

"But Sapnap said-"

"Yeah," interrupted Dream. He couldn't listen to George's voice anymore, not if he wanted to get out of this with anything resembling a friendship. "He was exaggerating because he was mad at me." Dream was going to will his words into reality if it was the last thing he ever did. He doesn't love George, he isn't in love with George. This is a passing obsession, a momentary lapse in judgment.

    "Oh," said George, sounding slightly disappointed. No, that had to be Dream's imagination, he wasn't disappointed. George is happier this way. "Okay, well, I guess I don't know what to say then."

    "It's fine, really. No big deal," laughed Dream nervously. "We good?"

    "Yeah, we're fine." They were fine, it was all fine. Dream left the call and immediately tears started pouring down his face. He slammed his hands onto his desk over and over.

    "DAMMIT!" He yelled. "DAMMIT, DAMMIT." He wrapped his arms around himself and sobbed. He clung to his own sweatshirt desperately, trying to hold onto something, anything. He had fixed things between them, but at what cost?

    He stood up and walked over to his window. He looked up to the moon and the stars. The one's he once confessed everything to. The ones who got him into this damn mess in the first place.

    "He wasn't out there you know," he smiled bitterly. "He wasn't listening. He doesn't care. He doesn't care about me." Dream wiped the tears from his face.

    "It was supposed to bring me some clarity, and I suppose it has. It's made me see that I'm just a liar. I lie to myself, to him. He doesn't deserve this, my love. I'm poison you see, I poison everything around me.

    "I lied for so long to all of my friends. I made Sapnap cover for me, even if he did a shitty job at it. I put George in an impossible position, I don't deserve them. Any of them." He took a deep breath, before sagging down onto the floor.

    "I'm just so tired, I'm tired of all of this. I don't want to be like this anymore. I don't like who I am anymore. I don't know what to do. I'm scared."

    His phone rang for the tenth time as more tears rolled down his face. He got up to mute it, to mute Sapnap. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. Dream wanted to know why Sapnap did it. What made him so mad that he would say that. He wanted to know what he did to cause such a reaction.

    What changed in the few hours between their phone call and George's stream that made him want to do that? But to hear his voice, to hear the apologies that would come spilling out, Dream didn't know if he'd be able to handle it.

    Dream would snap, he knew it. He would be angry and lash out when Sapnap didn't deserve it. He couldn't pick up the call, not yet. He needed time to figure all of this out. He turned his phone all the way off and dropped into his bed. Patches hopped up after him, curling up against his chest. He ran his fingers through her fur gently. No matter what he did, at least he had someone in his corner. Even if it was just a cat.

    Even if she was too good for him too. Holding her there sent him crying again, she was too precious for this world. He had to make sure he didn't ruin her too. Patches licked the tears from his face, purring gently. This only made him cry harder. But slowly and surely, Dream cried himself to sleep clutching Patches in his arms.

    It was pouring in the field, cold rain the type that chills you to the bone. But Dream just stood there drenched, waiting. Waiting for George. For just a moment with him. Thunder boomed over him as he just stood there. A hand came and lightly gripped his shoulder. Dream turned around instantly and was enveloped in George's arms. George was so warm, and soft. As if the rain hadn't affected him at all. Dream clung to George's sweater holding on for dear life.

    "Hi, Clay," whispered George, trying to pull away. Dream just held on tighter.
    "Please don't, please just let me have this," he begged, his tears staining George's sweater. He felt George shake his head.

    "I don't have a choice." He finally pulled away taking a step back. "Look at what a mess you are." Dream fell to his knees looking up to George. A single ray of sunlight had cut through to frame George's head like a halo. He was the only light in the entire field.

    "I'm not your savior Dream, I'm your destruction. I always have been," he said smiling as an axe appeared in his hands. "I always will be." Dream's shoulders sagged as he sunk deeper into the earth. George held the axe to Dream's throat.

    "I know George," he responded with a smile painting his face, his chin held high. "But I was only ever yours to destroy anyway."

A/N Merry Christmas and happy holidays everyone! Thank you for reading Chapter Seven! If you have anything to say please leave it in the comments and leave a vote if you enjoyed it. Chapter Eight will be posted by the end of next week, see you then :)