if i could drown in you, would you let me

it's too cold

Dream's discord was ringing. Over and over and over again. Dream laid in his bed, staring at the ceiling clutching at his sheets. He could hear George's voice; the smooth baritone would wash over him like a flood. For a moment, nothing else would exist. All he had to do was answer the call.

And then Sapnap would be there, ending the only peace Dream would find all day. Maybe Bad would be there too, adding another nail in Dream's coffin. But if he didn't answer the call, if he just let it ring until they all got fed up, then he would have nothing. No scraps, no memories to clutch onto as the night passes. He would be empty.

With a groan, Dream rose and dutifully put his headset on. His cursor hovered over the join button. He could feel his hands shaking against the hard plastic. He clicked. In an instant, his headset exploded with the complaints of his friends. He could barely make out what each of them was saying.

"WHERE WERE YOU?" Shouts Sapnap.

"WE WERE WAITING!" Screams BadBoyHalo.

"COME ON DREAM!" Yelled George. He couldn't even hear George clearly. What a waste.

"Well?" Asks BadBoyHalo. They were waiting for an explanation, shit, why didn't he think of anything. Of course, they'd be suspicious after he waited so long, shit! He said the first thing that came to mind.

"Uh, I was in the shower." He tried to add a laugh to the end of his sentence; he tried to add his usual confidence. If he could just appease them, then he could hear just George's voice.

"Without me," responded Sapnap, already trying to start a stream of banter. Dream's only response was another half-hearted laugh. They had to hear the disappointment dripping from his words. Why hadn't George been the one to say it? Why couldn't he have...

Dream needed to stop. They're friends, right? Friends make jokes like they do all the time; you can make inappropriate jokes about your friends and not mean it. You can joke about how much you're in love with them, right? Right? He can joke like that with Sapnap and George because he doesn't mean it. None of them mean it.

They all had logged onto the SMP to be apart of George's stream. The gentle glow from Dream's monitors washed over him, the only illumination in his room. He tried to push his thoughts away. He just tried to laugh and joke with his friends. His friends. Just friends. None of them noticed his internal struggle. None of them noticed him.

He paused, his hand hovering over his mouse. He has a second monitor. He could, in theory, watch one of his friend's streams. That's just what friends do, right? Watch each other's streams? It couldn't hurt. Too bad Sapnap and Bad weren't streaming tonight; maybe he would've pulled up their's. He pulled up twitch, slowly typing in George's username. And just like that, there was George's face. He practically knocked the wind out of Dream.

His lips were so pink and full, and a light stubble coated his jaw. Even though he shaved regularly, he couldn't escape that five o'clock shadow. Dream let himself smile as he watched George's animated face laugh at one of Sapnap's jokes. He looked so happy.

"Oh, Dreammmmmm," called George, pulling him out of his stupor.

"Wha- Hmm?" Responded Dream, his mouth dry.

"You're too quiet. What are you doing?" He asked, taking a moment to look at his chat. Maybe they did notice him, maybe George saw him.

"Nothing," said Dream defensively," I'm just uh-" Dream's eyes flitted over the Minecraft chat, he sighed in relief. "Give me one sec. Wilbur wants me in VC 3."

"But-" Dream cut BadBoyHalo off with a swift click moving into VC 3. Why did it hurt so much to switch voice calls?

"Woah, Woah, Woah, what is going on here," he exclaimed, trying to project a lighthearted mood. Tommy screamed with fear at the sound of Dream's voice.