needles • frerard

twenty three

He was scared. Fuckin' petrified. All the time he was scared of almost everything. But to see Gerard pleading, begging, wide-eyed and weak-voiced? That scared him more than anything.

So with shaky knees and a twisting stomach, Frank walked into a new therapy office. It took them about a month to find someone, and on their four-month anniversary he had his first appointment with a soft spoken man named Ray. He had curly hair and was very gentle with Frank, never did anything like his old therapist.

After much insisting, Gerard helped him pay. Frank had gotten a 9-5, but it was still pretty fuckin' expensive even with a salary and his shitty employee health coverage.

- - - - -

After the first session, Frank walked out to the parking lot to find Gerard leaning against his car, holding a bouquet of roses.

Frank smiles, a toothy and genuine smile. "Happy anniversary." Gerard hands him the flowers, tucking his hair behind his ear. "H-Happy anniversary, indeed." The shorter one stands up on his tippy-toes to kiss his boyfriend, taking in every detail about the way it felt to have Gerard's careful hand on his cheek. He can almost guess when Gerard's last cigarette was, just by kissing him.

"I'm so proud of you, Frankie." He murmurs.

They pull away and Gerard leans his forehead against Frank's.

"Thank you, Gee. Y'know, we l-l-look like total dorks right now." Frank grins. "You wanna see a dork? I'll show you my highschool photos." Gerard snorts.

"Oh, you f-fuckin' better."

"Yeah, yeah. Get in the car, dork." The taller of the two says playfully. Frank kisses him again and then walks around to the passengers side and gets in. "So, I rented like a thousand horror movies. Wanna order a pizza and have a movie marathon?" Gerard asks. "God, I love you. That sounds amazing." Frank exhales, his eyes twinkling.

- - - - -

As it turns out, as much as he loves the fright genre, Gerard jumped at every loud scare. His hand was clutching Frank's tightly, squeezing every time he got scared.

Frank found this to be quite amusing, since he was usually the jumpy one.

They finished most of the movies at a little over 11 pm.

"I'm never sleeping again." Gerard says. Frank giggles. "Aw, you'll be okay."

"No, I'm literally never sleeping." Gerard shakes his head. Frank kisses him on the cheek. "What if I c-cuddle with you?"

"You cuddle with me every night."

Frank sighs. "Fine. Oh, actually, y-you know what would h-h-help you sleep? If you showed me your highschool photos." He tries. "Oh my God, I shouldn't have brought it up." Gerard kisses Frank, half to make him forget about the photos and half because he loves kissing Frank.

This time, they don't pull away after a few seconds. They both stay and the exchange deepens slightly.

A few moments pass. Tentatively, the black-haired man swipes his tongue over Frank's bottom lip. He accepts, parting them and letting his tongue dance with Gerard's.

Then neither of them really know how it happens, but Frank ends up on his back with his hands tangled in Gerard's long hair. He likes it, Frank decides. He likes having the taller one on top of him. Well, he likes it until Gerard moves down to his neck, gently kissing and nibbling at the soft skin. It's too much, too fast, he can't breathe, his chest feels tight. He can't find the words but it's all too quick and scary and he's suddenly terrified that he's losing control.

He freezes.

Gerard doesn't notice.

He wants tell Gerard to stop but no one ever fucking listens when he tells them to stop. Maybe he's okay with this, right? He can make himself okay with this. He likes Gerard. He trusts Gerard. This... this is fine.

The artist toys with the hem of Frank's shirt. He's honestly only intending to blow him, not even expecting something in return.

"Baby, can I take this off?" Gerard murmurs in a voice that otherwise Frank would've found pretty damn hot.

Frank stays silent.

Gerard looks up.

"Frankie?"

The smaller boy just weakly shakes his head. "Are you okay?" Gerard sits up. "I'm sorry." Frank whispers, tears welling up in his emerald eyes.

"No, no, don't apologize, I- we can stop if you want."

Frank nods, slowly sitting up and dragging himself backwards about half a foot.

"I j-just... it was just a lot a-all at once and I fr-freaked." Frank mumbles.

"I'm sorry. I should've asked what you were okay with." Gerard says, once again feeling so fucking guilty he wants to scream. Frank nods again, slight and sad. "Um, if it helps, I want you to know that I'd make our first time way more special than our couch in the middle of the night." He says with a soft smile. Frank laughs, and though it sounds hollow, he does find some comfort in that. "Thanks, I think."

"You're welcome. We can go back to watching movies, if you'd like." Gerard tucks his hair behind his ear for what must be the thousandth time today; the unruly black strands never stays put. "Y-You sure?"

"Of course, doll."

Frank smiles and even blushes a little bit. "Thank you" The younger man says, slowly scooting closer. He's still a few inches away from Gerard, but he intertwines their hands. "I love you, and I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I really didn't mean to."

"Y-You didn't do anything wrong, I s-s-s-swear. I was fine until th-then and you a-asked before trying t-t-to undress me, which is a n-nice change." Frank says, half joking about the last part.

"You sure?"

"I'm s-sure, Gee."

Frank leans in and places a soft, reassuring kiss to Gerard's pale pink lips.

-

y'allllll ok literally one person responded to the character ask thing so might just delete it,, also i just started a petekey fic (are we really surprised) soooooo yeah there's a life update ??

drink some water

take your meds

disobey the government