Selcouth (l.h.) (bwwm)

17

It had been about three weeks since 5SOS left for their new tour. Gabriana and Luke had finally stopped crying themselves to sleep every night, but they still missed each other intensely.

They both basically lived in bed the first week away from each other, barely showing their faces anywhere unless it was for work. Eventually, their friends forced them to go outside and stop wallowing in their sadness. They continued moping for a while, but were able to go back to their normal lives for the most part.

Now that 5SOS were off of the tour, a boyband had joined to take their place. This somehow made things harder for Gabriana, as the energy of the boys and dynamic between the members sometimes reminded her of how her boyfriend was with his band. Because of this, she didn't bother learning any of their names, or even the name of their group. She was always nice to the boys when they encountered each other, but had no interest in becoming friends with them. That would only make her think of Luke more, though that didn't seem like it was possible.

For the shows, the girls moved to 5SOS' time slot, meaning they performed right before the main act and had a slightly longer set. Divine Soul's following had been steadily progressing throughout their time on the tour. Having two very different acts bringing in their audiences introduced the girl group to people who they otherwise may never have reached.

This was of course a good thing, it meant that the girls were that much closer to making it mainstream in the music industry. However, Gabriana had been finding it difficult to see it in this positive light.

When Divine Soul started out as a group, they had a very small following, but the people who were aware of them and were fans were primarily girls around their age, who had a preference for R&B music, the majority of them being black. It wasn't as if Gabriana only wanted black fans, she wanted the group to be successful everywhere possible. But it seemed that the more white their fanbase became, the more the negative comments were thrown her way.

The entire group being of African descent meant the girls were subject to a lot of ignorance. Racist comments and opinions were alarmingly common, especially in that day and age. They were all forced to deal with these things, but Gabriana was served with the most enmity based on her race out of the four of them. This was because of her darker complexion.

Gabriana being dark skinned made her much more of a target for insult and bigotry. The general public was much more accepting of lighter skin and a more racially ambiguous look, and Gabriana looked very different from many members of their western audiences were more familiar with and found attractive. Their lack of familiarity led to opposition and hostility directed at the young girl. This was mostly expressed through insults about her appearance, specifically about her completion and African features.

The panning was even more severe from members of her boyfriends fandom. They were angry with the fact that one of the boys they idealized and became deeply infatuated with, was in a relationship with a girl who wasn't them. The fact that her looks were so different from their's only made matters worse. Their jealousy made them say nasty things to Gabriana, hoping the outpouring of hate would be too much for her and cause her to leave their beloved musician. They made fun of her wide nose, plump lips, and kinky hair, compared her to animals, and called her every racial slur in the book.

The criticism really got to Gabriana and eroded her already frangible self esteem. For as long as she could remember, she had wished to have more Eurocentric facial features and lighter skin, but the frequency and severity of the backlash was almost enough to make her wear a paper bag over her head whenever she went out in public. Comparing herself to every other girl she came across had become a habit, and in her mind, a game that she'd lose every time. All of this made her feel even more out of place in her career and her relationship. Being away from Luke only made it more difficult for her to feel worthy of him, or believe that he wanted to be with her in the first place.

Even if she wanted to talk to anyone about the negative attention she was getting, Gabriana figured doing so would make no difference. It wasn't as if the online critics could all be forced to stop posting on social media. Besides that, the idea of someone having to publicly defend her from internet hate would have been far too humiliating in her eyes. Like she was the child in school that nobody liked, and had to seek the help of a teacher to get the other kids to stop picking on her.

Touring was also starting to wear at all of the girls. Waking up in a different location everyday was something that seemed impossible to get used to. They were all exhausted and homesick, and there were days that the negative aspects of being in the band appeared to outweigh the positives. Despite the hardships, they tried to remember what was important, and gave every show everything that they could, they knew couldn't waste all of their hard work after they had come so far.

Of course, it was even harder for Gabriana to see the silver lining in their situation. The other girls had dreamt of being musicians, and had preparation and support for all of the pitfalls of being in the public eye, but this wasn't the case for their youngest counterpart. Not only did she have no desire to do anything remotely related to being a star, she had no family to lean on when times got rough. She always had her three friends to count on, but she would have been lying to say that she wasn't jealous when she saw them interacting with their parents, who showed them unconditional love and support. This left her feeling empty and forgotten.

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SORRY IT'S BEEN SO LONG AND THAT NOT MUCH HAPPENED IN THIS CHAPTER, BUT THE WRITERS BLOCK IS REAL AND SCHOOL IS MAKING IT MORE DIFFICULT TO UPDATE. I'LL TRY TO GET MORE SOON.