Heart of an angel (supernatural fanfiction)

Chapter 5

A week went by and Rachel felt the most physically and mentally drained than she had ever felt in her life. Her days consisted of: waking up from her recurrent nightmare of Lucas, an hour of trail mill every morning followed by fifty sit ups and twenty push ups, she was supposed to go to fifty but she told Dean to 'stick it where the sun don't shine'. Then she would have breakfast, take a shower and go into the study on the main floor with Sam and learn about new creatures and how to kill it. She got along with Sam. He took his lessons very seriously, but if a particular creature would bring back a funny memory he would share it and they'd laugh, which felt good doing. Then it was lunch. After lunch she would head to her room and practice healing herself, until castiel would walk in to either try to get her to move something or simply meditate. She was starting to get the hang of moving objects but couldn't make it simply float or move where she would want it to go, which frustrated her. She swore if she heard Castiel say one more time 'will it...' She was going to 'will' for his head to pop. She loved meditating. She was starting to see waves of colors in her mind. She really felt at peace. Then it was dinner followed by learning about symbols and traps with Bobby. She liked Bobby the way he could use technical terms and then use his southern slang in the same sentences made him adorable in his own way. Most nights Jody would come by and teach her self-defense then they would sit and make small talk. After that it was Shower and bed.

That morning Rachel woke up with her heart pounding in her chest, tears running down her face. She wiped her eyes and pushed Lucas face in the back of her mind. She sat up on the edge of the bed and looked at the clock Bobby had given her. 4:45 am. Rachel stretched and put on her black sweats Castiel had gotten her. She made her way in the basement to where the trail mill was and started it. After a couple of minutes, she turned it off and stepped off of it. She heard someone come down the steps.

Thought I heard the trail mill... Dean said when he saw Rachel. She seemed agitated. She kept bouncing from one foot to the next.

You're up early—

I'm done. She simply stated bouncing.

What? He asked walking to stand in front of her.

I'M DONE! This. This. Isn't me! This isn't... Real! I'm not some... some sort of power charged trainable weapon! I'M RACHEL! I'm I'M a friggen' barmaid for Christ sakes! She was breathing fast her heart was pumping in her ears.

Huh, guess you're more human than I thought. Lightly teased Dean

You're a bastard, you know that?! She spit out. Rage was just pouring out of her.

Hit a nerve, sweetheart? He smiled.

Without a thought Rachel punched Dean in the face. It felt great. She grabbed his shirt with both fists and pushed him until he slammed against the wall.

Don't call me sweetheart, I didn't ask for any of this! I want my life back! I want my friend back! I didn't deserve to be tortured! To have my skin peel off of me like it was an orange! Having knifes carve, poke and twist inside me. Having my fucking nails ripped one by one! With someone wearing my boyfriend's face, enjoying my suffering, none the less! She slammed Dean back against the wall every time she finished a sentence.

I want out! I can't do this I... I want... Lucas! She started hitting his chest but as she said Lucas' name, her legs gave up and she fell on the floor. Dean grabbed her and followed her to the ground slowing down her fall. She let out sobs that made her whole body tremble. Dean grabbed her and pulled her on his lap. With one arm around her small shoulders and one hand holding her head against his chest, he rocked her slowly making shushing sounds. His heart was breaking for her. After what seemed like hours she finally started calming down.