FLATLINE| JK

twenty six

"Honestly? No, Dr. Jeon. I don't want to know, because the damage has already been done. My reputation in this hospital has been dragged through the mud by those photos. By you." I snap coldly. His dark eyes are full of confusion, but I don't feel bad for him. If anything, I'm angrier.

"Me? Bong Soon, what are you talking about?" He asks, and I simply stare at him. I wait for it to register, wait for the realization to come rushing in, wait for the imminent begging for forgiveness that I won't give. There isn't anything but silence.

"Do the words 'Thanks for the free show, Moon,' ring a bell?" I ask. Just saying them out loud makes the backs of my eyes sting with tears, but I keep them at bay. I won't cry, not in front of him. I'm clinging on to my last bit of dignity like my life depends on it, because in a way, it does. I'm worthy of respect, I'm going to demand it, and Jeon Jeongguk will give it to me.

"Oh." He says, sounding like the realization knocked the wind out of him. He has this far away look in his eyes, as if he was reliving the moment a few hours ago. "Bong Soon, I didn't mean that. That was all just for show, I thought you would know that. I didn't want people to think I was giving you any special treatment."

"That was a little much, don't you think? Making me the punchline of a joke in front of the entire surgical wing?" I retaliate mercilessly, and Jeongguk sighs, running his pretty fingers through his jet black hair.

"I tried to act the way I would have acted if it was anyone else!" He exclaims, and I sigh.

"Wow. That tells me all I need to know about you, Jeongguk. I think we're done here." I say softly, shaking my head at him in disappointment, I turn to the door to open in, but he leans forward, hand on the door to prevent me from opening in. His hot breath is on my neck, his hand resting gently on my waist for balance. If this had happened a few hours ago, I would've savored the touch. But now, it feels foreign. He feels foreign.

"We're not done here until you tell me what it is you think you learned about me, Moon." He says, and I can tell he's getting angry now, though he has no right to be. I sigh, and turn to face him again. His hand falls from my waist, but his hand stays on the door, trapping me between the wood and his body.

"Fine. Take the fact that those photos were of me out of the equation. Forget that you and I had something." I say.

"Had?" He interjects, his voice barely audible. The hurt is on his face, but I refuse to give in to console him.

"Let me finish." I say sharply, and he winces as if the words physically struck him. "Forget that you had any connection to me besides being my resident. My mentor. You said you were trying to act the same way you would if it had been anyone else, but the truth of the matter is that if you would have said hurtful words like that to anyone, I wouldn't want to be with you, Jeongguk. I wouldn't want to be with you because that is so incredibly heartless. Taking someone's past and using it for comedic relief is just low."

"Bong Soon—"

"Let me finish!" I snap, my voice cracking and revealing the hurt beneath the anger for the first time. Jeongguk reaches for me, but I slap his hand away. "Now, factor in the fact that you and I did have something. Remember how you knew exactly how I feel about my past, how hard I've worked to put it behind me. You knew all of that, and said those words anyway." I explain, and Jeongguk's eyes fall to the floor. For being someone who is both physically and intellectually large and dominant, he looks small. Good.

"I'm so, so sorry." Jeongguk chokes out, processing everything I've just said. I can tell he means it, but I don't say that it's okay, because it isn't.

"I definitely think we're done here." I reply. Wordlessly, he takes his hand off the door, but he speaks up.

"Stay with Namjoon, Bong Soon. He deserves you more than I do." An incredulous smile makes its way onto my lips, and I turn to open the door.