The Taste Of Ink | Taekook | ENG

14. HOW DEEP IS TOO DEEP?

Now, looking into his eyes, he knew he could deny anything, but Yoongi would know he was lying anyway. He knew him too well to hide anything from him, and he had no reason to do so. He had the impression that because of Jeongguk he was slowly losing his mind, and Yoongi was his conscience.

"He kissed me," he confessed. "He kissed me like there was no one else... And I..." He broke off, unable to put into words what he felt.

He did not regret what had happened. And he knew it was terrible. He was with someone who was not single, someone who belonged to someone else. It was perhaps one of the most horrible things he had done in his entire life. He didn't want to be his second one. To be someone's shameful secret.

But only Jeongguk made him feel alive.

He knew he was doing wrong, but how could something wrong seem so damn right? They fit together like two halves of an apple, even though they were so different. As he kissed him, their lips instantly found a common rhythm, as if he had been created to kiss him. His heart was beating with the rhythm of his breathing, as if it was driving him to life. Their bodies fit together as perfectly as if they had been made for each other, as if someone much bigger and stronger than them had created them to find each other and unite, as if they were just made to be together.

And perhaps it might seem to someone that their closeness is only due to desire, the typical human sex drive, but he knew it was more than that, even though he couldn't name it yet. He was attracted to Jeongguk, the boy was perfect, but he was attracted in every possible way, including the one which had nothing to do with the body.

And that was the most dangerous thing.

"I kissed him too. I couldn't resist, even though I know that he has a fiancée..." he added, feeling the weight of the words fill the air between them. "And... I don't even know how it happened... But... We had sex..."

The tattoo artist moistened his lower lip with his tongue, feeling an irresistible urge to smoke. He didn't know what that meant for them, but he was afraid he would never see him again. And perhaps it would have been better, and certainly easier for both of them, but just the thought made him sick.

He didn't want to lose him, even though he never belonged to him...

"Jesus, and it was so wonderful, but when we were finished, your client came over. It completely felt out of my mind that you asked me to cancel her session... So I went out to talk to her and Jeongguk got dressed and just ran out of there. I tried to stop him but failed. I called, but he is not answering my calls," he said in a trembling voice. "And now I'm so damn afraid I won't see him again..."

"I don't know what to tell you, Tae. To be honest, I don't know what to think of him. I watched him in the bar and I could have sworn he was jealous of you but later he said you should go out with this bartender. And when I talked to him... He said he knows you deserve someone better... I think he doesn't know what he wants or is just playing perfidiously with you."

"I know how silly it sounds, but he's not like that, Yoongs. I know what it has to look like when you look at it all from the side. A rich boy with a beautiful girl wants to have fun with a rebellious tattoo artist because he feels bored, and he is allowed to do everything, but it's not like that. I know he has a fiancée, but if all he wanted was sex, he'd already had plenty of opportunities to do so. He might not have told me about his fiancée that night... And yet he told me. And I should have respected that, but... I can't stop thinking about him. He is everywhere. It is as if he has taken over all my senses. I took this bartender with me and I still kept thinking about him. He is like one of my tattoos. He's crept under my skin like ink and I can't get rid of him... And I..."