Timefuckery

Chapter 3

Hopping from roof to roof, he knelt at the rooftop while pressing the record on his camera and positioning it over the edge, whipping out his untraceable phone with one hand and dialing the police. He made sure that one earbud was in while one earbud was out, and he moved the mic to his mouth when an officer picked up.

"Musutafu Police." The tired voice came over the line, and Midorya spoke lowly into the mic. "I'm reporting what appears to be a mugging down near the '24/7' gas station. There are two people, one smaller man, and one larger man. The larger male looks to have a weapon, please, hurry." He hung up a little bit after speaking, recording the interaction still.

When police cars pulled up, Izuku stopped recording and quickly began to roof hop back to his apartment building, almost stumbling when he landed on his roof, taking a deep breath and sighing. "I need to work out more often with cardio..." He looked at his surroundings before dropping over the edge of the roof, swinging through his open window with ease, landing on his feet.

Izuku stripped himself of his new vigilante outfit while almost falling over when he lost his footing. He stuck it in his bottom drawer of his desk, pulling up a false wooden board and sticking it in there, the outfit snugly fitting as he put the board over it, followed quickly by his notebooks and some loose papers. He sat down in his chair in front of his desk, plugging in the camera to his laptop and transferring it over.

"Let's see if my training paid off..."

Officer Sansa, after the aggressor was put into the police car with cuffs on, looked at his phone when it dinged, and he blinked curiously. He always put his phone on vibrate when he went out on jobs. He pulled his phone from his jacket pocket, seeing that it had been in to vibrate mode, and opened the device, looking at his notifications.

Greenbean: Hello Officer Sansa, here is video evidence of the mugging, in case the aggressor doesn't want to talk to you guys. Keep up the excellent work. [FIGHT_CLUB.mp4]

Sansa: Who is this?? And why is that labeled as FIGHT CLUB?

Greenbean: I thought it would be a small hint of humor to the evidence....?

Sansa: You didn't answer the other question.

Greenbean: Oh, hey, would you look at the time it's time for me to have an existential crisis.

When the sun rose that morning, Izuku was laying diagonally across his mattress, his head handing off of it. He was sleeping rather well until he rolled over, smacking onto his floor with an ungraceful thump.

The air got knocked out of him, and he harshly wheezed, peeling his eyes open to look at the ceiling. Izuku raised a hand to rub at his eyes sleepily and reached around, patting the floor and the air a few times until he found his bed, and pulled himself up to his face, groaning and looking around, picking up his phone to check the time.

"9 AM? I thought I'd be sleeping in until at least 11 with how many roofs I was hopping..." He mumbled, still half asleep as he shuffled out of his bedroom and into the kitchen in his apartment. He grabbed a coffee pod and stuck it in the filter, filling the container with water before turning it to the 'extra strong' setting, leaning against the counter. Izuku ran a hand down his face, and he peeked through his fingers to look at the phone that was still in his hands.

When he opened his phone, he was not expecting to see new messages on his main social media app, Discord.

1 Friend Request from 'Tsalty.'

"I feel like ill regret this..." He muttered and decided to click on 'accept' to message the person.

Greenbean: Hello, sorry I didn't get to you earlier, who is this?

When his coffee pot beeped and told him finished, Izuku poured a tall cup of coffee, deciding to add nothing and instead take a sip, swallowing it despite the burn that followed very quickly. He set the device down for a moment to briefly look through his cupboards, grimacing when Izuku realized that he needed to go shopping, and the sinking feeling grew when Izuku realized he was running tight on money. He'd have to fix that problem later, though.

Humming a small, tired tune, Izuku took a sip of coffee and checked his Discord messages, clicking on his newly added DM.

Tsalty: Hello, my name is Detective Tsukauchi Naomasa, and I have beliefs that you are the person that sent video footage of last night's mugging.

Choking on his coffee, he set the phone down and focused on getting the bean juice out of his airway. Izuku gasped for air when he managed to clear his lungs and coughed a bit more, looking at the text to make sure that it was real.

"Oh, I am so boned." He said, chuckling and shaking his head before picking the phone up. "Might as well play to it."

Greenbean: This be them, whaddup?

Tsalty: How did you get Officer Sansa's Discord account?

Greenbean: Magic~!

Tsalty: Hilarious. You are aware that I can arrest you?

Greenbean: May I inquire why you are allowed to put me in custody, Detective Tsalty?

Tsalty: Hacking into an officer's profile, not to mention the video showed you were on top of a rooftop. So I can get you for illegal quirk usage as well.

Greenbean: 1. I didn't hack into the profile Detective, merely looked up his Discord. 2. I got onto the rooftop by roof hopping. Not a single quirk, I helped you guys because you wouldn't have been able to nail the guy without evidence of the conversation and fight. I'm also the one that called in the brawl from the rooftop. So you're welcome. However, when you have something of interest to say, hmu.

With that, Izuku decided that their conversation was over and looked over a newspaper he picked up on his way home earlier. "This is either going to go fantastic or terrible, and I feel like it'll go the way I don't want it. Now, let's see how mad Tsalty gets when I leave him unread."