The Gate

27. The Forbidden Garden

"Well, not exactly that, but I had this idea that as when the show ended, everything was going to revert to normal. That's not what happened. The second the finale wrapped, my mom was ready to have me sign a new round of contracts. I thought that I could be smart enough to avoid it. For the record, I was totally wrong." As Jacob spoke, he was exuding sn enthusiasm that was almost contagious.

"I mean, you're here. You're finishing high school. It's pretty close to normal, right?" I asked.

"I don't really attend Atalka Academy. I negotiated finishing high school, but then I ended up with private classes and still have a recording contract lined up the second I graduate. I've been here for months, but I haven't even held a full conversation with someone that wasn't my family." Jacob explained. "It's just one machine to the next."

"Making music doesn't sound that bad, though." I said.

"It's not." said Jacob. "I'm really glad that I'll get to do it, but I can't believe that I let her win after everything."

"How did your mom win?" I asked, not following.

"This weird limbo situation. I'm stuck in two worlds but I can't completely belong to either. It's what she wanted." said Jacob.

"That reminds me of someone I know." I mused, mostly to myself. I couldn't stop thinking about Jane-Anne, and how clueless she was to everything that surrounded her. But she wasn't the only one trapped in two worlds. That sentiment was a bit too close for comfort right now.

"What?" Jacob asked.

"I said you shouldn't let her win." I said, a lot louder. "I mean, seriously! She doesn't follow you to school, get some real classes!" My excitement was starting to build, and I couldn't help but notice that the moss around me was starting to turn a more vibrant shade of green. I hoped that Jacob wouldn't notice.

"Are you doing that Night of Shining Stars thing?" I added eagerly.

"No." said Jacob.

"Come on! You have to!" I said. Without thinking, I grabbed his arm. My smile faltered for a bit when I realized that I was standing extremely close to him. I looked up, our eyes meeting for the first time today. I was lost in their vibrant green, and his scent hit me again, throwing me off balance. I was definitely feeling something, and the garden seemed to know it. Around me, the colors of the wildlife were starting to flash vibrantly. I didn't understand how to control any of it, but I needed it to stop.

My mind was so busy spiraling that it didn't notice that my body was taking an initiative of its own. It was leaning closer, and relishing in the heat. There was a buzzing in my ears, almost like a song, that was keeping me from realizing what was happening.

"I..." When a word finally escaped my lips, it was when they were dangerously close to his. I slowly unwrapped my arms from around his neck and hugged myself, a weird fear in my chest. "I should go."

Understandably, Jacob was confused.

"Thanks for everything." I added awkwardly. "Make sure she doesn't win." I gave him a small smile before slipping away.

I can't do anything right.

That was all that I let myself think as I stumbled towards the nearby woods. It was the only thing that felt safe. I leaned against a random redwood and attempted to process everything that had just happened, but my consciousness had other ideas.

As soon as my back made contact with the tree, my senses started to blur together incoherently. I felt detached from my own body, lost in a network of roots and leaves. I could leap between each limb, and feel my spirit glide across the living connection that laced the world together. I was lost and dizzy and euphoric and scared all at the same time. I couldn't tell where I ended and the forest began, but I didn't care. Nothing felt recognizable, or even distinguishable, and I was living for the freedom of this numbness. Everything came to a grinding halt when reality pulled me back down to Earth.