Craving: A Kylo Ren Tale

Five

I watch the numbers on the elevator go up and up.

9... 10... 11...

Phasma left me with a list of contacts, and a credit card for groceries or whatever errands I'm sent on. The plastic has a heavy, expensive weight to it. And it feels like a brick in my pocket.

24... 25... 26...

I wonder what sort of mood he'll be in today, how many sentences he'll grace me with. Such an asshole.

38... 39... 40...

Why does thinking of his large, paint flecked hands make my thighs warm?

46.
[Ding]

The elevator opens and the giant black door stares me down from the end of the hallway. I slowly make my way towards it, and this time it doesn't swing open. I know this is my new home, but it feels... dark and ominous instead of reposeful and inviting.

I raise a hand and knock. No response.

I knock a little louder. No response.

The keys are slick in my nervous hand, but I give myself a mental pep talk along the lines of "Grow a fucking pair" and then start trying to figure out which of these keys fits the lock.

Of course the first two keys are the wrong ones. I sigh to myself and lift the third (and last) when I suddenly hear the lock turn from the other side, and the door snaps open.

My eyes are staring straight into his chest, and I'm extremely aware of the close distance between our two bodies.

I look up at his face to find him staring down at me with those piercing eyes and I suddenly feel so small. Under his gaze I feel myself shrinking. Fading into dust on the floor would be preferable at this point. How can one man be so fucking intense all the time?

But I also can't stop myself from looking at the cerulean and goldenrod paint flecks on his hands. Can't stop myself from letting butterflies run rampant in my stomach.

"Hi," I almost whisper.

"Come in."

He turns and walks into the apartment before I can speak again.

As I pass the office from my interview and follow him towards the living area, I realize that my first glimpses of the layout were all wrong. The front door isn't at the far end of the park-facing windows- it's in the middle of the entire apartment. I see now that the elevator entrance is located directly in the center of the apartment with all of the rooms encircling it. The space is so so much larger than I realized.

"The kitchen and dining area are in the northwest corner. There are three guest bedrooms, one on each side of the house but this one. I don't care, just pick a room for yourself. The master bedroom is in the southeast corner and my studios are along the east side. They're all off limits, do you understand?"

His tone is extremely severe, and it turns my legs to gelatin. Fuck, I'm going to have to get over this eventually. I can't spend the rest of my time here being terrified of the man.

"Yes of course, I understand."

"Explore, use the different rooms, I don't give a shit. Just do not ever bother me while I'm working. Be seen and not heard, little mouse."

Neither of us are sitting in the luxe and lush living room, and I doubt the man ever relaxes on these couches or enjoys the park view. I feel as if I'm being scolded like a child and I want to give him sass right back. But I feel like a different approach might be best.

So like I've been told, I don't bother continuing the conversation with him. Seen and not heard, huh? I can do that.

I give the man a dose of his own medicine and turn on my heels. Walking away from him feels like a rush of adrenaline through my veins. Like I've done something illicit. I can see why he does it.

Part of me wants to turn around and see the look on his face, but I don't. Each step I take gives me a little more courage. I decide right in that moment that I'm done being his little mouse to play with.

He did say I could explore, so that's what I do. I start at the living room on the west side of the home, and work my way counterclockwise. I skip the office, not in the mood to relive that day. Next I find the dining room, and it's gorgeous. A large black table with an ornate black candelabra in the center. Lovely sets of china and crystal are already placed gracefully at each seat.

An open doorway leads into the kitchen and I want to gasp.

It's beautiful. And it's my new workspace. I could cry.

This is the kitchen out of every chef's dream. Copper pots and pans hang from hooks and catch the sun through the many windows. Multiple stoves and ovens, countless appliances hiding behind cabinets, every utensil and tool I could ever imagine needing.

There's a large cabinet door that I realize actually leads to a hidden walk-in pantry and wine/liquor storage. And it's... pretty empty. Except for the booze. I leave the pantry to turn my attention to the fridge, and find it in the same state. The man lives off of takeout containers and whiskey, apparently.

Okay, mental note, grocery shopping is at the top of my to do list. Time to restock the, well, everything.

I finally pull myself away and keep working around the apartment. First guest bedroom is between the kitchen and master, and I don't feel like being just beyond a wall from Kylo Ren, so I skip it even though it's a beautiful silver and grey color scheme.

I pass what I assume to be his room next. The door is closed but it's the last room before the hallway turns and this is the southeast corner. I've lost track of the number of bathrooms so far, and there are so many giant windows facing different sections of the city. Lots of seating areas to gaze upon whichever part of New York you fancy.

This eastern hallway has many closed doors, and I guess these are his different studios. Painting, for sure. And Rose showed me some of his mixed media, so I'm guessing that there's a darkroom and photography studio here too.

I do spot a gym with various workout equipment, though. Another guest bedroom, this one decorated in shades of red. Burgundy, blood, cherry, crimson. It's seductive.

I turn along the hallway again, making my way along the north side. I peek my head into a theater room, which looks like a mini movie theater with seats and a screen. But the next room over is my absolute favorite so far.

The library.

Books floor to ceiling, ladders on wheels to help reach specific tomes high on the shelves. There are a few reading chairs and a plush couch near a fireplace, and the room has a very cozy feel to it. Which is a surprising change from the coldness of the hyper-stylized apartment. It feels like actual humans read here. Live here.

My hands run along the bindings while my eyes scan some of the many titles. It's an impressive collection. Classic, modern, history, poetry, philosophy, arts, it's all here. I have a feeling I'll be spending a lot of time exploring this room.

Next door is the third guest bedroom, larger than the other two. This one is all white everything. It's a lovely break from the usual dark and broody color scheme of the penthouse. I decide that this is my room. Not only is it the most spacious and has the biggest windows, but it's the absolute furthest from Kylo Ren's room. I'll take it.

I turn right out of my new room and find the doors to the terrace which overlooks the park, and then the far end of the living room that spans most of the west side of the building. I'm back where I started. And thankfully he's no where to be found. It's probably easy to avoid each other in this grand space.

I'll try my best to do that.