The Formidable

17

Jase stayed downstairs for one last drink before following in Madison's footsteps to the bedroom where she had retired an hour earlier. The lamp was on; she was asleep next to Mia. He stood in the doorway, watching them. He should have worked it out sooner, the hair was a dead giveaway. With a yawn, he walked in, closing the door quietly.

Careful, so as not to wake Mia, he laid down on the bed, his attempt to go undetected failed. Mia lifted her head, locating him through half-lidded eyes, searching around for her dummy, and crawling over. Jase didn't move, hoping she would settle. She rested her head on his chest and reached out with her tiny hand to thumb the hem of his t-shirt the same way she had Madison's. He wanted to remain detached, to make his departure simple when all of this was over and Mia wasn't making it an easy feat. It hit him all at once. A brick wall, straight to the face.

He was a dad.

He was willing to take on any job in the world but he didn't know the first thing about being a dad. His parents were hardly role models. He rubbed the side of his face, looking at Madison still sound asleep. She'd managed it all on her own.

Had she planned on telling Mia who he was? Had she had an easy pregnancy and birth? Had anyone been there to help her through it? His brain swelled with questions, pushing him over the brink of exhaustion.

It didn't feel like he'd been out for long when Mia peeled back his eyelids with little fingers and sharp nails. She was leaning over him, a big smile stretching around the dummy when she saw he was awake.

"What?" Jase grumbled. Mia pointed to the window, grey daylight seeped around the edges of the curtains. He took the hint, squeezing his eyes shut a few times and lifting her with him as he got to his feet. He let Madison sleep, taking Mia downstairs and turning the coffee machine on. "I suppose you'll want breakfast."

"Yes p'ease," Mia replied, not understanding what a rhetorical question is. The fridge was full, shelves packed with all sorts of fruits, veg, and proteins. He had to Google what food was appropriate for the toddler.

Mia perched on his hip, patiently waiting for him to slice a banana and butter a piece of toast, shaking her head frantically when he went to cut it in half.

"Triangle," she instructed.

"Yes ma'am," he muttered. She ate at the table, her head barely above the plate, staring at Jase sat opposite as he sipped his coffee and stared back. She had the same analytical look her mother possessed.

"Hello cutie," Janine greeted, breezing into the room. Mia followed her across the kitchen with calculating eyes, twisting in her chair, an equal measure of caution and curiosity. "Where's Madison?"

"Still asleep," Jase replied. It was early, the digital clock had read half-seven when Mia woke him. He'd been under the impression that all toddlers did was scream and make a mess but making Mia's breakfast, even whilst holding her, hadn't been a challenge. He felt almost smug at the ease of it until he remembered she would probably need a nappy change at some point.

"Giving her breakfast and everything," Janine acknowledged. "You're a natural." Jase didn't reply. Mia decided she had had enough and wanted to check out her new surroundings. She pushed the plate away and slid off the chair, waddling past Jase, towards the living room. She checked over her shoulder, waiting for confirmation.

"You can go in there," he assured. She didn't need to be told twice, disappearing from view. Jase looked back at Janine and rose from the chair with a heavy sigh. "And so it begins," he mumbled.

Mia was exploring, absorbing her environment. She touched everything, pulling DVD cases out of the cabinet and controllers from on top of the console. Her sticky fingers landed on an empty pack of cigarettes, inspecting the lack of contents, and decided it was useless as she threw it to the floor. It occurred to Jase the house may not be entirely childproof when she sniffed out the tin under the sofa.

"Leave that," he said. She looked at him, the clogs ticking in her head as to whether she would take his words as an order or a suggestion. The box wasn't that interesting and so she continued pottering around. After half an hour of familiarising herself with the room, she poked her head out of the living room door to see where the footsteps were coming from.

"Good morning my precious little angel," Madison cooed, scooping her up and sitting on the sofa, yawning.

"She's had half a banana and a bit of toast. She didn't eat much though," Jase said.

"You gave her breakfast?" she asked, surprised.

Jase shrugged. "She's a person, she needs to eat."

Madison bobbed her head slowly, her focus turning back to Mia. "Thanks, you didn't have to do that. Did she wake you?"

Jase scoffed at the way she'd gone about it. "Yeah, practically ripped my eyelids off," he mumbled.

Madison laughed. "I'm not surprised. The second that sun rises, she's ready." Mia climbed off Madison and returned to inspecting the room, stacking the DVD cases on top of one another. "There aren't any drugs or anything that she can get a hold of, is there?" Madison asked.

"Everything is under lock and key so unless she can pick them already, she's fine," Jase replied. They watched Mia for a few minutes before Janine joined them.

"She's so cute," she said.

Madison smiled politely. "You say that because you haven't seen her throw a tantrum yet."

"Does she have a temper?"

Madison scrunched her nose up. "No, she's quite good mostly, but when she goes for it, she really goes for it."

Jase cleared his throat and sat up slightly. "What do you do when she throws a tantrum?" he asked, avoiding eye contact and using Mia as a perfect scapegoat to do so. Madison caught the raise from Janine's eyebrows and knew they were both thinking the same thing; he was taking an interest.

"Nothing," Madison said, "you have to let her ride it out and remember that whatever is frustrating her is probably a big feeling for a toddler and she doesn't know how to communicate that. She'll eventually forget what she's kicking off about and carry on with her day." Jase nodded. Even if she was only going to be in his life for a short time, he wanted to know how to ease the pressure on Madison. If that meant learning how to parent a toddler for the next however long it took to deal with their situation, so be it.

Over the next hour, Mia took a shine to Janine, handing her anything she found that she considered interesting. Janine played along, mocking surprise at all the miscellaneous objects she had been given, struggling to clutch the remote control, iPhone, two DVD cases, and an unlit tealight in her arms.

Sam entered the living room a short while later, sitting at the table.

"Weird to think three and a half years ago you were burning through Columbia's finest right here and now you've got a kid," he said, taking out a bag of weed.

"You're gonna have to smoke that outside," Janine said, Sam rolled his eyes and Madison chuckled, replying to him.

"How do you think I feel? I went from fighting for my own survival to fighting for hers. This house was a breeze in comparison to being a single parent."

Jase felt a pang of guilt. He knew it wasn't his fault that he hadn't been around and if it wasn't for their plan for Madison's escape, Mia wouldn't exist. But he felt responsible for every day she struggled since then. And yet here she was, in one piece and as headstrong as ever.