Gravity (Male x Male)

Chapter 13 - The Vacillator

A low rumble crept through the craft. A rumble that sounded like ... like the one I'd heard in the hanger on Epsilon 4 when I'd been angry before.

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me?" I asked, voice shaking as more tears escaped.

"You didn't ask."

"Didn't you think you should have mentioned it?"

"No, why would I have?"

"We've been kissing!"

The tears were still flowing along with the hurt and anger.

"Yes, because we like each other. And we both like kissing. What does that have to do with whether I'm human or not?"

Keleon finished making sure the autopilot was set and turned to face me, looking confused. Why did he not understand why I was upset? The anger was building.

"Because you ... you made me think I'd been kissing a human!"

The Pavo sounded like it was going to buckle under its own weight. Keleon looked around, concerned.

"Damon, I don't understand what's going on, but I think you may need to calm down before you rip the space craft apart," he responded gently. "I want to help you. I've never lied to you. I've never claimed to be human. Maybe you assumed I was. If I'd known it would be important to you, I would have told you, but it didn't occur to me that it would matter what species I was."

On some level I recognised that the Pavo may be reacting to my anger. No matter how annoyed I felt, it wasn't worth putting our lives in danger. I actively took a deep breath and counted to ten, as Keleon reached out and took my hand in his. I focused on his claim that he hadn't done this intentionally. I counted to ten a few more times, breathing deeply, calming down, but not enough to stop the tears falling. The craft sounded like it had stopped reacting to me, so I tried to form another question.

"So, if you're not human, what are you?" I managed to look up at him.

"Humans refer to our race as Vacillators because we can change how we look," he replied.

"So, you're a shapeshifter?"

"Correct."

"Jesus Christ!" I could feel my temper flaring again and the Pavo rumbled in response. "Do you even really look like this?" I gestured up and down his body.

"What a strange question," Keleon replied. "Of course I look like this."

"But you sometimes look like other things," I pointed out.

"Yes, and then I look like those other things. But right now, I look like this."

This conversation wasn't going the way I wanted it to. Maybe I worded my question badly. My mind was so confused that it was hard to tell.

"I meant, what do you look like when you're in your natural state?"

"I'm always in my natural state."

I ran my fingers through my hair and put my hand back in his. I needed answers. Which meant I needed to ask the right questions.

Deep breath. Count to ten.

What were the right questions?

"OK then. What do you look like when you're not pretending to be something else?"

"I never pretend to be something else, Damon. Humans also change how they look. Right now, you look like that." Keleon gestured towards my body as he spoke. "But you weren't born looking like that, were you? And when you get older, you'll probably look different as well. The way you look changes over time, but it's all still you. At each point in time, if you were asked, you would say you're in your natural state. Why would you think it would be any different for me?"