Do You See Her Face? (A Jess Mariano Fanfiction)

A Truman Show Star

She rolled her eyes, and all of a sudden she looked just like a teenager to Luke. A teenager with no mother and not much of anything to go home to. No matter how annoyed she could make him, he cared about her more than he cared about himself.

"Don't listen if you don't want to, but I've lived a lot longer than you, Ella," he began, curmudgeonly as ever. "Believe me, I know what's gonna be okay and what's not gonna be okay. And you are gonna be okay."

"Sure," she said, dejected but trying her best to go along with his advice session.

Luke sighed again. "Look, my mom died when I was a kid too. And then, when my dad died, I went a little bit nuts too. I spent thousands of dollars I didn't have to open this place up. But eventually, things felt normal again. And look at me now."

"Oh yeah," she said, mocking. "You're the most well-adjusted person I know."

"Shaddup," he scolded her affectionately. "I have no doubt in my mind that this will pass, and you'll go back to your life just fine."

She only nodded half-heartedly.

"Ella?"

"Yeah?" she asked, finally venturing to face him fully again.

"Jess loves you. You're the thing he loves most in the world, as far as I can tell," Luke said.

She swallowed harshly, looking away from the momentary eye contact she had held with him. For a second, she was worried she would cry, but she bit the inside of her cheek and focused on the pain instead of the sadness. "I know, Luke."

At that, he decided to let it go. He'd never been the best with emotional, soul-searching chats in the first place. He smiled a bit at her in a way he hoped was reassuring. "You wanna come over for dinner tonight? Lorelai's gonna bite my head off if I got to see you and she didn't."

"No, I can't just show up like this and then eat your food," she said immediately.

Luke only scoffed, watching as a customer began approaching the register. "You know you're not getting out of it, kid. Dinner's at six."

Before she could reply, he went over to ring up some townie Ella could barely recognize. She wanted to protest further, but knew she didn't have the energy for an argument with Luke. And, she had to admit, she couldn't think of anything better than seeing Lorelai. For some reason, she had a deep, sorrowful longing for the Gilmore woman's warm hugs and kooky way of approaching life, at just the mention of her name.

"Fine," she said, as Luke came back over to grab the coffee pot and do refills.

Luke gave an affirmative grunt in response. Apparently, the conversation was over, and neither Luke nor Ella were particularly upset about that. She slung her purse back over her shoulder, hugging her peacoat around her a bit tighter as she prepared to go outside. As she passed Luke on the way out, she stopped in her tracks for a moment.

"Hey Luke?" she said.

He looked up expectantly.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," he replied, voice sincere, though his face barely softened a bit.

. . .

The sun would soon start to set. She looked out her old window, a view of tree branches and golden clouds. The sight made her remember the day Jess had taken her to the Met, showing up at her window. And other days, when he would climb in and her small room felt like the whole world, made special for just the two of them. Swallowing harshly, she sat down on the old carpet, back against the wall and one leg crossed over the other. On the right wall, she could still see the remnants of the last mural she'd painted through the fresh white color. The realtors hadn't taken kindly to the artwork, Fiona had said, letting Ella in, showing her the room, and promptly leaving to go stay the night at her new apartment. She'd given Ella a kiss on the cheek before going. Ella had smiled, despite the lipstick stain she knew Fiona's bright pink lips left. She was glad Fiona was getting away, wasn't getting stuck. Not like Ella herself was. She focused on her breathing for a moment, and she could have sworn the room still had the faint scent of lavender candles.