Do You See Her Face? (A Jess Mariano Fanfiction)

Much Beloved Dickinson

Disclaimer: All Gilmore Girls content belongs to Amy Sherman-Palladino.

.   .   .

Caught up in the music, Ella ran her hands through his hair. She felt his palms on her waist, firm but not too much. Not hungry. Sweet. He was sweeter than she thought he would be, a rain which refreshed instead of dampened. But then, the song switched. Ella felt reality coming back to her, unable to be shamelessly ignorant, indulging in her senses. Putting a hand on his chest, she pulled away from him. His hands still ghosted over her hips, not yet ready to let go. They breathed heavily, both flushed. Jess began to smirk, and Ella almost followed him, but then her face fell and she turned away.

"Oh, fuck," she muttered to herself, clutching her necklace.

Jess furrowed his brows and reached out to touch her, not quite far enough. "Elle, I-"

"No, Jess. You have a girlfriend," she spoke slowly, turning back to him. Her expression was guarded, unreadable. "And I just kissed you and you kissed me back. And you have a girlfriend and now we're the kind of people who-"

"Wait, hold on, I can call Shane right now and-"

"Just like you'll call me when the next girl comes along?" she interjected, crossing her arms over her chest.

Taking a step back, Jess couldn't help but feel slightly wounded at the accusation. "There won't be a next girl."

"Yeah, right," she scoffed, making to leave.

Jess barely had time to process what was going on before she was making her way down the stairs. But then, he started after her, calling her name.

"Can we just sit down and talk about this?"

"Nothing to talk about," she shot back in a clipped tone, rushing down. Luke stood at the counter refilling stray coffee cups, and she didn't cast him more than a second of a glance before going to grab her bag. "Luke, I don't feel well. I gotta go."

"What? Ella, wait-" Luke said, confusion etched on his features, but she had already disappeared down the street, out of the view of the diner's window.

Bounding after her, Jess nearly made it out the door before Luke caught him by the shoulder.

"Get off me," Jess growled, but Luke held firm.

"What happened up there?" Luke demanded, turning his nephew to look him in the eye.

Jess scoffed, finally shaking Luke off. "Nothing."

"Oh, yeah? Where's Ella goin'?"

"I don't know, Columbo. Why don't you go ask her?" Jess shot back, brow heavy and eyes dark.

Before Luke could continue with the interrogation, Jess slipped past him, the bell over the door ringing cheerily. Luke stood there for a moment, fuming, and didn't bother to go after Jess to tell him he'd started in the opposite direction of Ella.

. . .

Thoughts racing, Ella sat against her bedroom wall, sketchbook in hand. Over the record player speakers, Jeff Buckley crooned. The summer evening had brought with it heavy thunderclouds. Air hot with lightning, Ella knew the rains would start soon. The dim light of the lamp on her nightstand gave her room a cozy glow, tinged pink from the paint on the walls. She wished she had watercolors. Back in the art room of Stars Hollow High, a series of her morbid drawings painted over with dull watercolor hung on a cork board. Unless, of course, Mrs. Shaw had taken them down over the summer. At least with the new school year, she could add some new pieces to her collection.