A Devils Number

Chapter 13 •Six•

TW: This chapter has mentions of suicide, abuse, and rape scattered throughout.

"I can't give you the answer you want," I mumbled quietly, hugging my knees to my chest. Silas sat in a chair across from me. He tilted his head and leaned back in his seat, his cheek resting on a fist.

"You can't?" Silas asked. "And why not? Do you need more time to think about it? Or is it because you just can't come up with an answer?" I pressed my lips together in a thin line and scooted off the bed, standing up.

"You already gave me what I've wanted," I said calmly. Silas arched an eyebrow at me and sat up straight.

"Did I? When?"

"When you caught me." I sighed slowly and looked away. "I never really wanted anything but to have a bed of my own. Or to be allowed to speak with our permission. You gave me that when I was captured." I didn't know if my explanation was good enough for him but that was all I could really say. I just hoped he was pleased with it. Silas leaned back in the chair causing it the creak slowly while my eyes traveled up his body to looked back at his face. He had an unreadable expression on his face.

"What exactly did they do to you in there, Six?" He didn't seem to be pleased with my answer. My heart began to hurt and pound against my chest rapidly.

"Um..."

"I want to know exactly why you always have that look in your eyes. And I want to know why the fuck you think I'll hurt you all the time. When I raise my hands sometimes you flinch. I know I wasn't exactly a pacifist with you when I first caught you but-" He stopped speaking and just stared at me. At first I couldn't understand why exactly but then I realized. My nose felt really tight and stuffy, my lips quivered, and warm tears rolled down my cheeks. Why was I crying? "Six?"

"G-Get out!" I shouted suddenly. "Get out now!" I shot up from bed and ran to the bathroom, slamming the door shut. I locked it and looked at myself in the mirror. The whites of my eyes became bloodshot quickly and my tears wouldn't stop. A sob escaped my lips and I sat on the ground with my face in the palms of my hands. I yelled at Silas just now. I've never yelled at anyone before. I've never even dared raised my voice at all and I decided to do it to someone who seemed to want to help me.

"I'm really not a good person," I whispered shakily to myself. I sniffled and grabbed some tissue, wiping my tears and nose. It didn't help much though because I only started to cry harder. After awhile, I got back up, splashed some cold water in my face, and gently wiped it with a towel. When I looked in the mirror again, my eyes felt puffy and they looked puffy too. My nose was still a little stuffy and my mouth felt weird. Silas was probably gone by now so I opened the bathroom door and walked back out. I looked over at my bed froze. Silas was laying in my bed on the farthest side. He arm was thrown over his eyes and his suit jacket was off. His tie looked like it had been loosened and his shirt was slightly unbuttoned.

For the first time since I've actually seen him, he looked relaxed or at peace. He wasn't stiff or cold, he was just weirdly welcoming. I slowly walked over to his side of the bed and stared down at him. Silas breathed in and out slowly so I could tell he was definitely asleep. I reached out and slowly placed my hand on his chest, letting it rise and fall beneath my palm. I closed my eyes and furrowed my brow. His heart was beating against my hand. My lips slowly pulled into a smile, rubbing the tips of my fingers against his chest.

"Ugh..." I jumped a little as Silas grunted, moving his arm from his eyes. I gasped and stepped back silently, watching his movements with wide eyes. He only shifted for a moment and settled back into sleep. I sighed out in relief and patted my chest, thinking I had been caught for a moment. I looked back at his face and stepped closer once again to study his face. Silas was a really handsome man and even more handsome in his sleep. He looked vulnerable and surprisingly kind now that I could really see his features so closely. My shaky and slender fingers grazed the bridge of his nose and slid down his right cheek, stopping at the slight stubble along his jaw. My red eyes landed on his lips and followed the outline slowly. It was as if he was sculpted from the finest clay, his features were really sharp and pleasing to the eye.

Damien had a crooked nose because a long time ago, Sebastian had broken it. It was big before but now with was sort of smooshed. His eyes weren't cold like Silas'. Sure, Silas had cold eyes but that man had something much more scary about him. When Silas have me a cold look, if didn't feel malicious. And Sebastian always looked at me with a crazed look in his eyes that sent a wave of nausea through my stomach. Silas was different from them.

Silas had to be different from them. If he wasn't, I would kill myself. I don't think I would handle dealing with another Damien or another Sebastian. Or anyone that was like those people that experimented on me.

Silas was decent towards me, I think. His skin is soft too. I wonder if his lips are soft.

My index finger carefully ran along them and I flinched at the weird tingles that shocked me as I did so. I pulled my hand back an inch and shuddered. That felt weird. It felt so weird but I'd felt so nice at the same time. I've noticed that whenever he touches me, I do feel a faint tingling sensation and for some reason it was so much stronger now. I couldn't help but bring both my hands to his face and I slowly cupped his cheeks. Again, the sparks hit me, stronger this time and it traveled all the way down my body. I let out a whimper of confusion and went to pull my hands away but met his eyes first.

They were wide open and he just stared right through me. His hands came up, grasping my wrists that were frozen in shock. "Wait-" I couldn't speak. Nothing I could say would get me out of this and that scared me. What have I done?

"What are you doing?" Silas sat up, staring at me intensely.

"...Why...Why are you sleeping in my bed?"

"I was waiting for you to come out of the bathroom. I gave you this bed, why can't I sleep on it?" He narrowed his eyes down at me. My hands curled into fists while I frowned, looking away from him. I ducked my head down slowly while trying to twist my hands from his grasp.

"I-I wanted you to leave, not stay-"

"You shouldn't have cried and yelled at me like that then," Silas snapped suddenly. I flinched a bit and looked up at him with widened eyes. He was frowning at me though, he wasn't glaring either. He had this strange worried look in his brown eyes that made me feel weird.

"I didn't...mean to..."

"You didn't mean to cry or yell?"

"Both!....both..." I whispered. "I don't understand you. I don't. Really."

"I don't understand you either."

"..." It was silent for quite some time until I let out a stressed sigh. "Maybe...we should try to understand each other then?" I questioned. Silas squeezed my wrists and then let them go. My arms dropped to my sides while his hand appears under my face, lifting my chin so I would look him in the eyes.

"We should."

His eyes were glowing bright red.