Clandestine (Erityian Tribes Novella, #6)

15 : Growing Up

I wasn't sure when or how I fell asleep, but I woke up feeling dazed. I stared vacantly at the ceiling as I tried to think about what happened yesterday and instantly regretted it.

Akala ko, masamang panaginip lang ang lahat, pero nang makita ko ang mga sugat sa kamay ko ay agad na nanubig ang mga mata ko.

"Mayu . . . Akira . . ."

Everything was slowly sinking in and I was drowning in my own memories with them. Hindi ko pa rin matanggap na wala na sila. Hindi ko kayang tanggapin na sa pagtapak ko sa campus ay hindi ko na sila makikita pa.

I let the good memories with them overwhelmed me as silent tears trailed to my temples. At least, I wanted to think of them when they were happy. Hindi ko kayang isipin o alalahanin pa kung paano sila namatay. I couldn't bear remembering the hopelessness in their eyes.

Few minutes later, I wiped off the tears on my face and breathed deeply, but I immediately stopped when I felt a sharp pain on my ribs. Just then, I realized my chest and back were wrapped with gauze. Maging ang mga binti at braso ko.

Right. He was here last night. I remembered how I broke down while he was tending my wounds. Sa totoo lang, hindi ko akalaing mangyayari iyon. I didn't want to cry while somebody was around, and I just felt empty that night that I thought no tears would come out of my eyes. However, that simple gesture of covering my eyes stirred the grief and pain I was trying hard to quell.

Huminga muli ako nang marahan at pinilit na bumangon. I grimaced as I sat, orbs dancing in front of my eyes. Inikot ko ang paningin ko at wala akong naramdaman na presensiya. He must have left already.

I was just spacing out for a couple of minutes until I had to collect my thoughts for the briefing. Kahit na ayaw ko pang harapin ang katotohanan ay kailangan. I carefully got out of my bed and struggled to wear new set of clothes as my wounds were still fresh.

Tumayo ako sa harap ng salamin. I always wore my hair in pigtails because I wanted to look young and I was a kid at heart. This time, I tied it in a low ponytail. This time, I had to grow up and be matured enough to support Hideo.

Upon setting foot on the campus, my chest started to hurt and get heavy again as I saw how everyone was wearing black clothes to attend their wake. Their families were mourning silently while Hideo stood near them. On the other hand, I stood from a distance as I watched them pay their respect.

I didn't want to go there. I didn't want to see their lifeless bodies. Or else, I might break down again.

Naglakad ako patungo sa Council House at naroon ang ilang Elders. We were supposed to wait for Hideo but I wanted to give him more time to mourn and lessen his burden. Fortunately, they listened to me this time and allowed me to lead the briefing as his representative. Sir Arai, Dr. Miwako and Sir Aiwa of the Intelligence, Medical and Technology Departments, respectively, were also present.

We watched the videos captured by Miyu's system and my stomach clenched as soon as I saw how they ambushed Mayu. She initially had the upper hand against the Elite and the Reaper but she had lost the will to fight when she saw something—probably a live feed of Hiroshi or a threat to his safety.

Hindi ko na kinayang panoorin pa ang mga sumunod na kaganapan kaya napayuko na lamang ako. There was a deafening silence that followed and I could feel the tension inside the room. It was hard to remain levelheaded at that moment but I tried my best to keep my emotions under control.

"It seems like the security of our borders has been compromised," Sir Arai remarked, breaking the silence.

Sir Aiwa quietly nodded. Parang lumubog ang puso ko nang makita ko ang mukha niya. He had to watch her own daughter's dead. He was already enjoying the retirement but here he was, back to the game because of Mayu's demise.