I Love This Boy | On Hold

Chapter 1: Hannie

Taebin and Jun-Ho had been as close as brothers their whole lives. Wherever one went the other followed. They were inseparable, almost as inseparable as Jun-Ho and his little brother Ji-Han. You see, little Hannie was everything to Jun. He was younger than the friends by three years and, although three years really wasn't all that much, to Jun he was a baby. This precious little thing that always needed to be protected, always needed to be shielded from the world.

When they were younger Hannie would beg to play with his brother and Taebin. Obviously, the elders refused; saying that Hannie was much too young to play with them. They were older than him after all, far too much older to play with a baby like Hannie.

Hannie still remembers his fourth birthday. He was so excited, all his friends were going to be there, but most importantly, so was his brother. He always looked up to Jun, his big brother who showered him with love almost every second of every day. The only time he didn't, however, was when he was with Taebin.

Taebin always stole his brother away, always taking all the attention for himself. Hannie hated that, he hated him.

It was his birthday and all the attention belonged to him by right, yet somehow the seven-year-old Taebin had managed to steal it all away from him. Jun soon lost interest in his brother that day, not that it was his fault. Every time Hannie came over for a hug or to ask his brother to play Taebin was there, his intimidating glare sending the other away before he even reached his brother.

No one ever noticed, no one ever cared. It was just how it was. His brother was older, after all, and his interests were different. Not to mention, his friends were much more mature than his baby brother. He wasn't obliged to play with his brother every second, nor was he expected to stay by his side.

Even on his birthday.

Their parents always thought Hannie would grow up to be too dependent on Jun. The way he followed him around everywhere, holding onto the back of his shirt as he waddled around the house may not have been an issue for either of the brothers, but their parents knew otherwise.

Mr and Mrs Choi realised just how much of a problem it was the day Jun first stayed out at a friend's house. The Moon's had been nice enough to ask Jun round for dinner, which Hannie didn't mind, but when Taebin suggested a sleepover Jun couldn't have been more excited.

Hannie didn't sleep that night.

He was alone for the first time. Jun was always there, always just a room away. Hannie could only sleep in peace when he knew that all he needed to do was call for his brother and he'd come running. Oh, how many nights he had wandered into his brother's room in the dark of the night. How he would come tiptoeing in with his blanket and teddy in hand, carefully climbing into bed next to his brother and snuggling up against him.

Jun never needed to wake up, he just needed to be there. His presence alone was enough to ward off the nightmares and scare away the monsters under his bed.

Hannie screamed and screamed, begging for his brother to come back. Crying for his big brother as he sat alone in the darkness.

That was when his parents really knew it was an issue. His mother comforted him, stroked his hair and told him that it would be okay, that Jun would be back in the morning.

Hannie still couldn't sleep.

He just lied between his parents, wide awake and watching the monsters crawling about in the shadows. Lurking around as they stalked their prey.

Jun did come back in the morning. Hannie jumped into his arms the second the door had opened, crying all over again. Their mother watched on, donning a sad smile. She knew that this would have to happen a lot more to break Hannie's dependency on his brother and it did.