I Love This Boy | On Hold

Chapter 9: Fantasising

Throughout the rest of the week, Hannie didn't see much of Taebin. You see, the elder had a project to finish and the younger had a fair amount of homework to get done. 

The thing was, Hannie found that he was kind of missing the older boy. He knew it was unlike him to miss Moon Taebin, of all people but he couldn't help it. Maybe he had taken it for granted when Taebin was always around, maybe he just didn't care back then, but now that it had been so long since they had last seen each other, Hannie found himself practically craving the elder's presence.

Something is wrong with me.

You see. Hannie was simply lying in bed with his hands down his pants, as he had done so far at least once every day since Monday. He had never wanked off so much in so little time before. Before it was just the odd one every once in a while, a couple of times a week at the most. That, however, wasn't the worst part of it. 

Ever since that confrontation with Taebin at the weekend, the 'hickey incident' as Hannie had begun to call it, he couldn't get the thought of Taebin out of his mind. Just the thought of the older boy being so close and the way his finger had flicked over Hannie's nipple with just the right amount of pressure, was enough to turn the younger on.

It was stupid. He was stupid. He knew that but he couldn't help the fact that ever since all of his fantasies that week had been about Taebin. Every single one. 

In the beginning, it wasn't so bad. He'd just think about that day, jerk himself off and be done with it. As the week progressed, however, Hannie found himself thinking about something else. Obviously, his curiosity got the better of him and he found himself doing something that he knew would be inevitable from the moment he realised he was gay. He found himself touching that area which Minnie had strayed to during their little moment the week before.

What Hannie had discovered from that experience was that he was completely and utterly an absolute bottom. He hated it but he loved it. It wasn't supposed to feel so good, but it did. Well, after the first couple of tries at least. He had googled it beforehand, making sure that he was doing it right. After that he just kind of experimented from there and all the while, he was thinking about none other than Moon Taebin.

What Hannie didn't know was that Taebin was fantasising about him too. He hadn't gotten laid in quite some time and it was all Hannie's fault. It wasn't that girls didn't turn him on anymore, or other boys for that matter. It was that no matter who he originally tried to think of, he always found that in the end, it was Hannie's face in his mind.

They both had a problem. A serious problem. The only difference was that Taebin was ready to face that problem head-on but Hannie, well, Hannie was just hoping that it would go away. He couldn't have a crush on Taebin after all. He hated him or he thought he did. Now, he wasn't sure. Actually, that was a lie. He was sure. He was certain that he didn't hate Taebin because he absolutely, definitely, had a crush on him, and it was infuriating.

It was the weekend once again and Taebin would surely be coming for dinner sometime. Hannie was dreading it but he was also excited. Excited to see Taebin, as odd as it seemed. He was excited to see stupid Taebin with his stupid hair, who was maybe not really so stupid and maybe didn't have quite so stupid hair. No, the only one who was stupid was Hannie because this was Taebin after all. Taebin was straight, very straight and well, even if he wasn't there was no way he would ever like little old Hannie.

Except he did.

By the time Taebin came over, Hannie was long gone. He chickened out. He ran away because he wasn't sure if he could even face the elder after having thoughts like that about him for an entire week and so, he went to Minnie's.