Snl Oneshots

Unexpected (Bill Hader)

I never liked hanging out.
Especially if with a big group of people.

It's a lot of effort, wasted on taking in information about random people my friends talk about that most of the time I don't even know. There's usually too much noise and caos for me to handle.

I prefer being on my own: drawing, playing my piano, reading a book...
I prefer doing literally anything else than something that requires having people around.

Or at least, if I'm gonna hang out, I prefer to do that with a single person, maybe two.

But most of the time, I feel like two is a crowd as well. So I just stay at home.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't like people, or I don't have friends.
I just... don't enjoy company that much.

People are often messy, or loud, and that doesn't get along very well with my being very organized and quiet, most of the time.

And also, I have a lot of anxiety, so being around people doesn't help that.
Like, every time I leave the house, my social anxiety is through the roof, even if I don't have to meet anyone.

I'm constantly afraid I'm gonna casually see someone I know out on the street and having to talk to them.

I usually don't like that.
I don't like surprises.

I like to know what I'm doing and what is happening, which, unfortunately, doesn't happen that much.

But today I got caugh off guard.
And in the rush of the moment, I said yes, even tho I would've totally preferred going back home and watch some Netflix on my own.

So now I'm here.
In a park with almost ten of my friends, which is really too much all at once, for me.

But I don't like letting people down, and saying no usually does that, so...

"...so I told her 'No, that's not how you do that!' and she was like-

Oh, I must've spaced out, as always...

I think Fred is telling a story, but I haven't really listened to enough of it to know what it's about.

Kristen seems to know what he's talking about, tho, most of them seem to, so it's probably about some host that came to Snl before I got hired as a writer, otherwise I would know this too.

I smile and nod a little, pretending to listen.

I don't wanna make them think I don't care. I do, I just don't feel like chatting or anything.

I look around.

Everybody is listening to him, but Bill, every now and then, seemes to be looking at me for a moment, before turning back to Fred.

I don't think he knows I noticed, but it's better this way. I don't want him to know.

If he knew, he'd probably stop, and be embarassed by this. And I don't want that.

The only thing that bothers me is that I don't know why he's looking at me.
It's kinda freaking me out.

Have I done something wrong? Do I have something on my face?

God, maybe I'm making a fool of myself.

Just... stop overthinking.
It's probably nothing.
__

"Guys, I think I'm gonna go now..." I say.

"Already? It's just five p.m.!" Andy says.
He seems a bit bummed that I'm going.

"Yeah, sorry... I just- I have an appointment with my therapist later, and I've gotta take some stuff at home, before I go..."

It's a lie.
My therapy sessions aren't today.