You belong to me

Chapter 19 - Charlotte

"Could you just take me to Parker's place, I had an amazing night but I think it's time to head back now," I ask JT. "Yeah sure, for all its worth, I personally think Parker is in the wrong for this, and I've known him awhile and I never thought he would be a puppet," JT looks me dead in my eyes, which weirdly sends butterflies surging through my stomach. I just smile and nod at him, as I'm not really sure what to think about tonight, or the change I've seen in Parker. Scary how a simple phone call had so much influence over him, he hasn't even replied to my text, but I know he's read it by the ticks on the side of my text. "Do you want me to come in and make sure you get in?" JT asks me, as we pull up at Parker's apartment complex. "I've got this, thank you though and again, thank you for spending your New Years with a stranger," I say with a laugh and shut the door before JT can answer me. I know Parker is going to be so annoyed at me, I'm slightly dreading having to see him. "Ma'am," Henry nods at me as I walk through the door and I only manage a smile as I quickly make my way to the lift.

The apartment is quiet, too quiet. "Parker," I call out, no answer. He must still be out, he did say he was going to get very drunk. I do this thing when I'm nervous, I overcompensate everything to distract me from the fact I am nervous. This just so happens to be my skincare routine as I remove every inch of makeup off my face, have a quick body shower and get changed out of the beautiful dress and into my pajamas. It's nearly four a.m. and Parker is still not home. Where do I even sleep, I've never had a fight with a boyfriend, do I sleep on the couch or do I sleep in the bed? Just as my mind is debating where to sleep, I hear Parker stumble through the door. "Parker!" I shout running to the hallway to help him up off the floor. "You're still fucking here? Thought you'd shacked up with JT, the nob," Parker scowls at me, shrugging off my help to stand up. I'm taken quite aback by this comment and the harshness of his voice, I can already feel the tears building up in my eyes, "Oh go on then, cry Charlotte, like you always do," Parker hisses at me again. "You're really mean when you're drunk, Parker," I snap back. Parker lets out this laugh, it's not his normal laugh, it's more of a cackle. I can smell the whisky on him, sort of lingering around him as he staggers to the kitchen. "I think we should talk in the morning when you're sober," I remark, keeping calm so Parker can't react. I hear him pull out a bar stool in is kitchen and then a thud of Parker sitting down. Parker lets out a huge sigh, "I kissed Mckenna...a lot actually," Parker says, I can hear the hurt in his voice. I'm froze to the spot, I can't physically move, I feel sick, my heart is pounding so hard I can feel it in my ears. "Charlotte," Parker calls out. "What?! What Parker?! What the fuck do you want from me?" I can feel this anger taking over my body and all I can see is red, I storm into the kitchen so I am opposite him, his eyes fixated on me, I can see how drunk he is as there is a haze over his blue eyes. His mouth opens like he's going to say something but I beat him to it, "So you literally act like I'm the only person in the world over Christmas and that you love me, living in a little fucking bubble, then as soon as you bring me into your world, you see I don't fit in, you get one little phone call from your manager calling me a 'normal ass girl' and that you need to be with Mckenna and you do exactly what he says?! You're a fucking coward Parker, I should have never ever reconnected with you over Christmas, I don't even recognise you! You're out there kissing Mckenna numerous fucking times and I spent my New Year in J fucking T's car eating McDonalds, worrying about you, fucking distraught over you calling me a friend in front of people, you're a piece of shit Parker," I shout at him, getting everything off my chest.

I never cry myself to sleep but tonight I couldn't stop crying, literally gasping for breath in between tears. Parker hasn't even bothered to come over and see me, I think he's passed out on the sofa. My eyes are stinging and my head is pounding and I finally stop fighting and let the tiredness take over. I woke up bright and early, so early that I can see the sunrise over New York's skyline, it's so beautiful but I hate this city, and I hate what it did to Parker. I somehow managed to change my flight for one today back to Heathrow, I just want to get away from here as soon as I can. To be honest, I don't want to even see Parker again. He's still flat out asleep on the sofa, still in his dress shoes, his shirt is halfway buttoned and the tie is still on, he's a mess. I tiptoe around the apartment trying not to wake him, as I pack my things. Fuck, I need to leave a note or something that I've gone, I really don't want to but I know it's the right thing to do. I find a pen and paper and begin to write, 'Parker, by time you wake up and read this, I will be on my way back to London. I can't do this anymore, I know it was one fight but it was one big fight. I'm not made to be in your new life, and your team knows that. All I ever wanted was you, and now I have you it's not the you I know. You're a puppet and a coward. I preferred being strangers to this and please don't contact me, I don't need any more hurt. Charlotte.' That'll do, a short summary of why he is a piece of shit and I don't need that. I take one more look at Parker, so oblivious to the hurt he's caused, I wonder if he will even remember fighting with me, or any of the events of last night. The lift down to reception seemed the longest lift ever, my mind filled with all kinds of thoughts, was I making a mistake? Could I be Parker's secret girlfriend? I shake my head at myself, I'm not anyone's secret and I refuse to act like one.

Everything about the airport was so robotic, I just kind of automatically did everything and before I knew it, I'd landed in Heathrow. I turn my phone back on and there's nothing from Parker, I decide to just block him before he says something to me and I instantly regret my decision to leave. Jake's here to pick me up, I can see the sympathy plastered across his face with his arms spread wide for a cuddle. I throw myself at him, hiding my face into his chest and I cry and cry. "Come on Char, this isn't you," Jake gently says as he breaks the hug and carries my suitcase to his car. The car ride is silent, I don't think Jake really knows how to deal with me in this state, I've never really been heartbroken before. "Julie came straight to our house when she heard you're coming home and what Parker has done, she's livid at him," Jake says, trying to make me feel a bit better that Parker's own mother is on my side. "I'm going to go back to Edinburgh tonight," I say as I stare blankly at the road ahead of me. "Oh right, erm whatever you have to do Char but I thought you would have stayed home a bit longer?" I can sense Jake's worry. "Why stay home and mope around, I'd rather be back at uni in my space, and just get on with life," I robotically reply.