HAMBURR ONE SHOTS ~ theres not enough out there

Cheater ~ Angst

"You see, that was my wife who you decided to..." Aaron trailed off after reading the letter sent by James Reynolds. Decided. he Decided. The word had never caused more pain to poor Aaron. He had saved him, loved him, cared for him. Alexander made him feel like he was a bird, free to fly. Free to love. 

"Aaron..." Alexander walked into the room, his hair open and a mess. His eyes swollen and red from tears. He couldn't look at the love of his life knowing he cheated on him. It felt like yesterday, the day they were at the alter, saying their vows. 

"Why..." Oh, how tempting it was to get angry. But Aaron was never the person to yell, to scream. He was always the one to hid his emotions and make others feel happy, that's always how he treated Alex. Anything to make him smile, anything to make him happy. Alexander walked around to see his husbands' expression. Tears streaming down his face, but not a single sob escaped his mouth. The sight was devastating, how much can you stab someone until they finally begin to bleed? 

"Aaron...I..." 

"I'm not enough...am I?" Alex looked up at the taller male in shock. How could he think that? After all they've been through? 

"No...no...Aaron please...I love--" 

"YOU LOVE HER!!" He finally yelled out, his hand crumpling the letter as his hand slammed onto the table. "DON'T EVER...EVER...TELL ME YOU LOVE ME..." His sobs were petrifying, every word seemed to stab not only Alex but Aaron too. 

"TELL ME...ARE YOU FINALLY SATISFIED? HAS SOMEONE ELSE F-FINALLY SATISFIED YOU MORE THAN I COULD'VE?" Theres a pause of silence and Alexander is looking at Aaron with pain and guilt in his eyes. 

"I'M SORRY...I KNOW I WASN'T ENOUGH..." Aaron continues, "I CAN-N NEVER BE ENOUGH...NOT TO YOU...NOT TO THIS CURSED WORLD..." 

"no...Aaron you mean the world to me...please..." At these words, Aaron's sobs come to an end, and there's a deadly, audible silence. 

"Let me do one thing that's right for you...let me leave you with her. she can make you happy, she can make you smile. I'm nothing to you...I never was. It was all a lie, wasn't it, Alex?"

"No...I couldn't say no...Aaron I'm sorry...please, I'm so sorry..."

"and when society would throw rocks at us and call us fags...it was all for nothing." Horrid memories of being beat up flooded Aarons mind. Seeing pain like this was torture to Alexander. 

"...nothing hurts more than regret and seeing you like this..." Alex walked closer and placed a hand on Aarons cheek, he didn't protest. "I wish I said no...please..." More moments of agonizing silent passes. 

"Let me say it for you--'no'. Just leave me be, Alexander. leave me be." a sob escaped him and Alexander didn't listen, his eyes were fixed on the sobbing figure. "...please...go." Aarons voice became blatant again...like the Aaron Burr Alexander had met. 

"I'm so sorry..." Alex whispered before leaving the room. both of them breaking into sobs as the other left. Aaron knew there was only one thing left to do. One attempt to make sure Alex would be satisfied. 

~~~

Morning came and Alex immediately went back to his study to check on Aaron. Only to see the figure hanging from the ceiling. He screamed at the sight of the body. 

"AARON!!! NO!!" Cradling his head in his arms, he begged and begged for him to wake up.