HAMBURR ONE SHOTS ~ theres not enough out there

Need (Hanahaki Oneshot) ~ Angst

Its not an angsty hamburr book without a hanahaki oneshot! LAMS/HAMBURR

WARNING: Blood, death, angst, pain, heartbreak, one-sided love, cursing (thank you Alexander-), loneliness, self-harm, suicide, guilt

do NOT read if sensitive. Sorry the end is a bit rushed and its so stupidly horribly written but I like pleasseee read it cuz I put some time into it! Comments fill my soul :)

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"I'm sorry...I don't love you. I love John."

Aaron's heart fell to the ground, but he flashed a kind smile at Alexander's anxious face.

"That's okay. I hope we can still be friends?"

His heart began to ache, something etching in his eyes--but years of training makes warrior's strong. Strong enough to hide it.

"Sure." Was all Alex said...his expression turning from pity to a pointed stare, examining the other's face as he carefully pushed past and left. Burr let out a small sob....looking down at the beautiful rose in his hands. Why did he fall in love? Why did he...ever think he could be loved? Thoughts began to hit him all at once--as he stared at the beautiful red in his hands...a flashback reoccurring.

Aaron's mother, Esther Edwards Burr, laughed as a young Aaron Burr fell into a pile of autumn leaves. He giggled happily, touching the dry autumn leaves and the daises that grew nearby. Esther chuckled once more, before picking up her little boy and dusting off the remains of dried leaves. Aaron had no doubt that his mother was the only person who loved him--his father too busy in the ranks of money and politics.

"Mama...why doesn't 'nyone else like me?" The seven year old boy asked, eyes widening in curiosity and even at such a young age--an unnerving feeling of not belonging.

"Oh dearest...so many love you! I love you, right?" She cooed, sitting on the lushed green and pulling her child onto the lap of her flower pink and white plated dress. Aaron cuddled closer, smiling a bit at the smell of her perfume.

"but...the other kids don't love me...I keep trying but...but no one wants to be...f-w--ends with me..." he mumbled, trying to hide the shame on his face by pressing his face into her shoulder.

"No, dearest...that's just how life works. Sometimes, everyone is mean. But that doesn't make you any less special. How about that boy, your friend, Alexander?"

Aaron giggled and smiled at the thought of Alex. They were friends for a few weeks now...and Alexander cared. He cared about him, played with him, read with him--yelled at his bullies for him. "Alex is f'nny and smart and nice...and I really really really like him, mummy."

Esther sighed softly, before looking into her basket and taking out a beautifully shaped crimson red rose. "Roses are beautiful, right? In flower language--they mean love. Love and hope, the color of red. The beating of your heart, a bright and pretty color. Did you know that mum's favorite color is red?"

Burr shook his head, looking in intent and curiosity. "Well, it is. Sometimes...red is the most gorgeous color. But other times..." Her hand tightened on the stem...a thorn picking at her thumb as a crimson trickled down the finger and Aaron is about to protest- "...it can be blood. Blood is something you need to live. but when it is poisoned...you never know. Red can be dangerous--it can be a sign to stop. It can mean bad things..."

"...why're you-u tellin'g me, mummy?"

Esther smiled, handing the flower in Aaron's hands as he looked at it with bright...large eyes. Wonderously drifting over the petals and the soft sensation under his fingers. "Because...it's okay to love people. No matter who it is, you can love anyone. Love is the most beautiful blossoming to a flower and warmth...but it can also be dangerous and painful, until you choke on the petals themselves."