𝚏𝚒𝚡𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏

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i know we all grow up and changes come but im so terrified of growing old. theres gonna be a day where parents wont pay for your food anymore, you'll be off at college, and you'll be all alone. Which is another fear of mine, being alone. I still have to study for my history test and I've been putting it off all day 😃✌️. today has just been draining. im always quiet after people leave from staying over. which this time it was for my birthday party. which every birthday you get older which made me think about it harder this time. i even fear having gray hair, wrinkles, and MAINLY dying. im so scared of dying. i mean who isn't? but if there's one thing i think about everyday it's death, and how im terrified of it. I've even convinced myself i want to learn to drive and get my permit. bc i know it's a thing that all people will have to do. im even scared of getting a job. and the talk of how high school goes so fast. im already in my sophomore year, next year will be my junior. which we all know we think about graduating on the year that people are a junior. i don't even know what i want to be when i grow up. or what college i want to go to. and I'm not going to college bc my parents want me to it's bc i believe you won't be as successful if you don't go to college. so i want to it's just scary. and ill have to face it.