𝚏𝚒𝚡𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏

①③

It feels weird. I feel like I'm not even close with my friends anymore (except for one). My best friends, the ones who i was so close with in school. They made me happy everyday. I used to dread Mondays like everyone else did but up until middle school I stopped dreading it. I knew my friends, people who meant the world to me, would be there and it wasn't that bad anymore. The only thing i dreaded was that I couldn't stay up anymore. But now I feel i don't even know them. Has quarantine really made me like this? I haven't seen them for so long and I feel like this? Sure I miss them and I'm a sense they are my serotonin but i think I'm just lonely. Family is nice but when you see them everyday and they don't compare to the laughs you'd get with your friends nearly everyday. Summer used to mean more time to hang out with them now I dread it. The only reason I want school back is to see them. Some parents don't even care if their kids stay at another ones house but mine do. And i get it but I hate mrs. corona. Sounds stupid but BTS is what's giving me purpose right now. I don't like putting my problems on anyone. That's why I don't tell them. It's not that I don't trust them and I hope they never think this. They're valuable to me but idk why I have this problem of not telling them what's bothering me. Is this book a cry for help? Or has no one read this even though they know this account exists. Or is that what I'm asking for?