Scotch and Soda (A.T.)

25 | When I would find myself in love with you

Andromeda

It was just Alex and me now. We were looking at each other with a pregnant silence in the air.

            'Why...Why won't you let me touch your scars?' I blurted out. I really wanted to know. I still had the scars on my inner thighs, the long one on my neck and the love bites on the other side of my neck. But, Alex...he had medium-length scars at random places on his chest.

            'I let you touch my scars,' He sat on the bed beside me, 'You touched them last night babe.' He put his hand in mine and motioned closer to me where he started to kiss my neck.

            'Alex, you didn't answer my question and you didn't let me touch them, I caught you off guard.' I became irritated because he wouldn't let me touch his scars but yet during sex, he would take his time and touch my scars when they crossed his path. I'm guessing he felt my body tense because he stopped kissing my neck.

            'When it fully registered in your brain that I touched your scars, you pulled my wrists away.' I snapped.

            'Babe I-' I got up off the bed and turned around to reach for the bag of clothes.

            'I can't touch your scars, yet you t-'

Alex

            'I don't want you to touch them because they make me feel horrible and naïve and stupid, alright?' I snapped. 'They remind me of the horror that I did those years ago. When you touched those scars a thought-process error came into my brain while I was sleeping last night that I'd stabbed you, that I had hurt you.'

And there she goes backing away in fear.

'It was a long time ago and she's not even dead,' she half-muttered. I'd noticed she was putting on jeans.

'I know that darl, but we're gonna have to testify at Luke's damn trial. I'm afraid that they're going to bring it up. You'll have to face your rapist and tell your side of everything, and I have to sit there and resist killing him because he hurt you and he was about to rape you in front of me.'

'I wanted to make you feel better about yourself Alex, I don't care where you got your scars from.' She half-muttered while messing with the zipper on the blue fabric.

'Well at least I remember where my scars came from!' As soon as I'd said it, I regretted it. She snapped her head at me. Her eyes were no longer the bright caramel brown I'd seen earlier but a dark burnt colour with a brown outline like when you're trying to bake chocolate chip cookies but it gets overdone and they become burnt with that slight outline of the brown they're supposed to be. I also noticed she finished putting her jeans on. I stepped forward and she stepped back and we were back to playing that game again.

'Andy, I'm...I'm sorry I didn't mean it.' I say the wrong things, I really do and I can't help but want her so much. I still haven't bought her a replacement collar. But I dunno if she'll still want me after all this. Before the interruption of her British ex's, All our relationship consisted of was blissful, mind-blowing sex and arguing because of my jealously. In reality, I had no reason to be jealous because this whole time she'd only eyes for me and took it and threw it back in her face.

'You can be such a dick.' I was slightly taken aback by what she said. Offended even but I softened when I saw tears come from her eyes. She picked up the bag off the floor and hugged it. Then, she went for the door and I tried to block it. I tried to do anything to make her stay.

'No, please stay I just got you back and-' I pleaded. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

'I thought you've understood what I've been through just as I've understood what you've been through given the evidence of my thighs. I love you so much but, I think we should stay away from each other for a little bit longer.'