Unfinished Business |2| ✓

The letter

I didn't cheat. I would never hurt you like that so awfully but I needed to and I couldn't, so I chose to lie to you. And that alone, broke me down inside. I promise I love you, I only ever truly loved you. It's the fucked up truth I have to keep with my demons. I just want to to to another universe where it's just you and I without all these complications and I can just love you.

Nessara was just a distraction baby. I felt like I had to continue the relationship with her. I don't even know how to feel anymore but I have to end things with her. When I saw you again, I instantly knew the difference between fake feelings and real feelings. You get me so angry. But yet you bring out the best in me.

I want to stop loving you. I promise I do but deep down I don't. You're never going to forgive me. I called your father the night before. He said that it would be the right thing to do because seventeen or twenty-two, you always have a big heart. And because of that, you were always going to choose love over the other option.

You couldn't choose me. You simply couldn't because I was the wrong choice as much as I hated to admit it. So because I loved you and because I wanted you to shine and become the best version of yourself, I had to let you go. I knew I was going to see you when I started the job. But if I knew the way you'd look at me, like you hate me all the time then maybe I would have turned Verrin down.

And now my life is crashing down. I so badly want to tell you all of these things but I can't because you don't want me and saying these things to you would just make everything worse. I needed an outlet, these words circle my mind every God damn day and I just want to forget it. Forget how bad I hurt you and forget us because remembering it isn't worth it since I can't even kiss you.

And God, the thoughts I have about you is a sin because I'm engaged. Not for long anyway. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Treasure.

You're hated boss,
Kolson.

His words kept replaying over and over in my head. I even imagined him saying the words on the paper like in the movies. And by the end of it, my hands were shaking and tears were gathering in my eyes without consent. I jumped when the door slammed shut and Kolson stormed in with regretting eyes. "No! No! Why did you do that! You weren't supposed to read that!" He shouted, reaching for the papers in my hands but I stepped back so he couldn't.

"I-It had my name on it..." I started, still playing his written words in my head. "You could've talked to me. I would've found a way to make my life amazing in New York, Kol. We would've done something together. Why- why didn't you talk to me about it?" I blurted out, the chaos inside my head seemed never-ending. "Because-" he cut himself off, taking his eyes off of mine for some seconds. His fingers brushed through his hair, telling me he was nervous. "Because like I said. You're always going to choose love," he softly said, flicking between my eyes.

All of this was happening too fast. I wasn't prepared for this. Not now. "You're acting like I had to choose going to prison or something! It was New York or California! You didn't have to make that decision for me. It was better to go to New York!" I screamed, feeling to pull the hair out of my head. "I don't regret it! No matter how much you scream at me and tell me that I made the wrong decision, I don't regret it because look at us. I'm a fucking CEO and you're a hotel owner. Do you think we would have gotten here together?" He urged.

My mouth clammed shut and I was suddenly speechless. What would have happened if we went to New York together. What would he have done if he found out I was pregnant? This still keeps me up at night. I had a gut feeling he would have left me or something but that could just be because I was scared and always thought of the worse sometimes. We would have probably rented an apartment somewhere and played parents.

Declan is very fortunate. He doesn't have a father but I made sure he never needed one. The past few months have been busy but I always made sure he had someone to fill in my place when I couldn't be there. "I was..." I started but couldn't continue. I couldn't say it.

Pregnant. I was pregnant.

"You were what?" Kolson encouraged me but only made things worse. "Nothing, I have to go," I brushed off and was about to take my leave with the letter gripped in my hand. His fingers wrapped around my upper arm, stopping me from leaving. "Don't. Can we talk about this please?" He pleaded. He thinks I'm overreacting but he doesn't know the whole truth.

I need to tell him. I need to tell him he's the father but I can't at the same time. I'm scared of what he would do. Would he take me to court for this? I had too long to tell him and now...I'm in a worse place because I didn't sooner. "I need some time," I pleaded and this time he let me go.