it's all here

trains

Fast forward a couple of years, a time when she would see less and less of her father. And the time that she spent with him was so fleeting it was almost as if it didn't even happen at all.

There were nights when she couldn't sleep at all. A 5-year-old with insomnia. But she'd see the light under her door from the hall, which meant that someone else was up, too. She'd tiptoe out of her room and down the stairs, only to find her father's office door cracked open. He was sitting in his office chair in his red plaid bathrobe looking out the window. The moon was full and the stars were bright behind the blanket of fog.

"Daddy?" She whispered, peeking out from behind the door. He glanced up, his brows scrunched together in half surprise and half confusion.

"Audrey, what are you doing up?" He tried to sound angry but the relief he felt when he saw her face made it hard. He could never be truly angry with her, and even if he was it wouldn't be for long.

Her face fell nonetheless, her lips quivering.

"I couldn't sleep, daddy." She didn't want to cry but her throat was closing without her permission, her chest tightening with each passing second. His face immediately softened and he got up from his chair, rushing over to her. She took a step back out of habit- her mother would run at her when she was angry. She didn't know what to expect from her father.

His brows pulled together quizzically. He knelt down in front of her.

"I couldn't sleep either, bug. Did you have a bad dream?" She ignored his question, propelling herself into him instead, her tiny arms wrapping around his neck as she clung to him.

She never got to see him anymore. Her mother always said he was too busy, he never had time for her, that she shouldn't bother him because he had lots of work to do. None of that was even remotely true it was just her mother's way of punishing him because their marriage had been in shambles for some time.

Andi also had just come to despise her daughter all together and couldn't help but make her suffer, too.

He swallowed thickly before pulling her to his chest. He couldn't remember the last time he'd hugged his daughter. And how sad was that?

"Mum says not to bother you. She says you don't have time for me anymore." She chokes out, her face pressed against his shoulder, the soft material of his shirt absorbing her tears.

His heart broke hearing that sentence and he held her tighter.

"Your mum is lying. I will always have time for you. i love it when you bother me. you can bother me anytime."

Grandparents. She had fleeting memories of them. Her father took her to visit them once, a week and a half or two weeks in San Francisco. Maybe she was 5? Or 6, shortly after the scene above happens. Because he realizes that his wife is sucking the life out of both of them and he needs to do something about it. He leaves abruptly from work, having acquired a month of leave, plus he was a boss so he could do whatever whenever.

A few weeks in San Francisco? A few weeks somewhere else? Maybe Europe, or Hawaii or someplace- Italy? Sunny and beachy!
Anyway, he whisks her away one night. Carla had packed her bags, knowing the little girl all too well.

He wakes her up in the middle of the night.

"Wake up, bug." Her eyes flutter open and she shifts into him, letting out a big breath.

"Daddy?" Her voice squeaks with exhaustion, her hands grabbing at him. He smiles and lifts her into his arms, her face fitting into the crook of his neck. "Where are we going?" She's trying to be awake, truly, lifting her head from his soothing temperature. He rubbed her back.

"I'm taking you away for a little bit. Just you and me, bug."

"No mummy?" Despite her best efforts Audrey still wanted to be with her mother.

She didn't understand why her mother treated her so badly, why she was mean all the time, or why she yelled and ran at her, but the desire to please and be loved was still raw in her little body. Especially from her mother.

"No mum this time. But Carla is coming, that ok?" Audrey's face lit up, her body jerking awake.

"That's the best, daddy!" He smiled down at her, walking over to the dresser where her clothes were already laid out.

"I thought so, bug. Let's get you dressed brush your teethies and we'll eat in the car, ok?" She nodded quickly.

The flight was long and the little girl tried to stay awake as long as possible, her face glued to the window during takeoff.

Eventually, she fell asleep against her father's side, tiny arm looped through his, her other hand holding her stuffed animal. It was a Dalmatian and his name was spotty who she loved with her whole heart, mostly because she'd gone with her dad to pick it out. And cause she loved 101 Dalmatians. 

Everything is so big. The city is so big. There are trains underground, and things called trollies that are on tracks in the regular street. The buildings are so tall that even if she leaned her head back all the way she couldn't see the tops of them, patches of sunlight every few feet. There were birds everywhere, people everywhere. Everyone was so busy, cars honking and people yelling, crossing the street without even looking.

Audrey held her father's hand in a death grip as they walked out of the airport. It was immediately windy, her hair whipping into her eyes. She turned to hug his legs, safely in his arms within a matter of seconds.

"We're going to visit yehyeh and nainai."

"What's yehyeh and nainai, daddy?" She repeated the unfamiliar words slowly, brows furrowed. He pushed her hair behind her ear,

"That's my mum and dad, your grandparents. Remember your mandarin lessons?" Her brows furrowed for a moment before she nodded excitedly.

Andi had forbidden her to keep taking language lessons, or so she thought- little did his wife know that Carla had been taking Audrey to tutoring in secret, on top of starting her on Italian herself.

"You get to see where daddy grew up." Her brown eyes widened and she put her hands on his cheeks

"Really?" Her father full-on grinned, nodding his head up and down.

"Really, bug." She grinned back at him, a few giggles escaping her mouth.

Carla stood a bit behind them just watching them interact, smiling to herself. She hadn't seen either of them this happy in a very long time. It felt good to get out of the suffocating streets of New York. She loved the turner family, minus Andi most of the time.

When she'd first started working for them they had been quite the happy family, married for almost a year, and already 8 months pregnant.

Audrey was a premi baby, causing a bit of stress when she was born. That's when they were first faced with heart problems. Minor surgery was needed, though, it still couldn't guarantee everything would be alright.

They go to Italy for a little bit, too. They stay somewhere nice but then Allen gets called back to work so Audrey stays with Carla and her family in whichever small town she's from. Or they could still stay somewhere nice. But she learns how to cook everything and spends her days by the sea and exploring old buildings and she paints everyone's toes and Carla might just spend their travel allowance- she definitely spends some of it on gourmet ingredients but she also spends it on Audrey; clothing and maybe some fun trips but mostly anything wholesome that the girl sees Carla will get for her.

She may also fall in love. Either with a puppy or an Italian boy who is just as small as she is.