Drapetomania (n.): An overwhelming urge to run away from something or someone.
I was in the bathroom, showering while listening to my calming playlist to get rid of the stress I had from the last week.
It was finally Saturday and I was hoping for some peace, but everything I expected was the opposite of what was happening.
I looked at my naked body in the bath, with bruises all over it and my ribs protruding out. I didnt eat for the last two days and it had already begun to take effect.
Sighing, I lathered my body with the pearly white soap on the countertop and washed it off of my not so glowing skin.
I was about to get up when I heard a thud and screaming in the living room making me run out with just a towel around my body.
" Mom! Dad! What's going on?!" I screamed, unable to process the sight of them screaming so loud that it hurt my ears.
This was my life, the one where my parents fought like kids and expected me to be the adult, I couldn't say I didnt like it, I had to force myself to be an adult.
Going between them, I stopped my father and pulled my mom behind me trying to hold onto the towel while doing so, my dad who was in a fury started hitting me.
Feeling the powerful slap, I fell to the floor as he kicked me in the abdomen making me wince in pain as my mother who saw it was now triggered.
Her weak body looked so strong that my dad fell down from her continuous slapping as I held both of them back.
I felt like I could cry out loud but I didnt, after making sure to treat their wounds, I went back into the bathroom to rinse myself. I didn't feel like I could do anything, I was so exhausted that I could sleep for eternity. I really wanted to, but I just felt like too many people needed me, I just didn't want to be selfish.
Dragging my body back into the bath, I felt wet tears fall down from my eyes, as the soap from my hair fell into my eyes.
It burnt my eyes but I didnt care, I just wanted to feel the sweet relief of death and drown under the water, I wanted so badly to hit my head and die but I couldn't, unable to control the urges, I took the scissors and started cutting my left arm till it bled. Fresh blood flew right into the bathtub, turning the water into a really really pale pink. Sighing, I washed the cuts and they eventually stopped bleeding. I wrapped the towel around my body and opened the drain letting the water flow into the drain.
I walked to my room and closed the door behind me, without wasting time, I put on my clothes and a full sleeve hoodie with a pair of leggings and laid down on the bed.
I heard the rain starting to pour sending cool breezes through the open window, sighing, I got up and took my phone as I got out of my apartment and entered the terrace.
I sat on the concrete slab as I let the rain pour down on me, it sent chills all over my body, I was shivering as my teeth chattered from the cold.
Soon, the water turned to snow, making me even colder, my skin was as pale as it could be and veins were popping out but I just didnt care, my skin started to burn as the hoodie was soaked and my cuts were now being dampened with the rainwater. It was painful as hell but I didnt care. I kept thinking about my parents. Why did they have to get married? Why did they have to stay together and pretend to be a normal family when they're not? Why did they even have me when they didnt even love each other? I knew it was a little hard to stay as ideal parents and they have to live for themselves too, but this was too much for me and I felt nothing, it was the same, feeling so numb and having the feelings pour down on you later.
It started to thunder as my emotions started to become too much, my lips were now blue, devoid of any colour as I noticed my light blue hoodie now coated with blood, great my cuts were bleeding again.
I wanted so badly to run, I just wanted to jump off the terrace as I stood near the edge, unable to take it, I felt my head pound. The rain kept pouring harder and as expected, there was no one, not one person that cared enough to see the girl crying on the terrace as loudly as she could. I screamed out loud, hoping for the pain to go away, but it didnt.
Just then, I heard heavy footsteps and turned around, there he was, the blonde-haired guy whose skin was as beautiful as the moon, his eyes contained a trace of fear and relief, his hair was wet from the rain, his shoes stained with mud, his black hoodie soaking wet, sticking to his body, wordlessly he held my left arm and grabbed me, making me wince in pain.
" Y/n I'm sorry," he said before pulling my sleeves up as he protected my arms from the rain, seeing the cuts, he pulled the sleeves down carefully and held my face as his sad eyes looked into my expressionless ones.
" Just go yoongi. " I sighed as I looked down. He was standing there wordlessly trying to say something.
" I don't want to leave you alone. I want to be with you y/n " he said, I didnt want anyone to see me like this.
" I don't need you yoongi. Please." I said quickly before my voice cracked.
" You don't need me, I do. I need you. " he said before pulling me close to him.
I just couldn't say anything, he knew I wouldn't be able to refuse, he shook his head before he wiped his own tears, I realized what had happened, after hearing the screams, he had practically looked everywhere for me, I felt so guilty, his whole body was shivering, but he didnt care. He lifted my chin as he touched my cheek, I winced, my dad must have definitely left a few bruises, I felt exposed. He took a deep breath and calmed himself down.
" Look at me y/n, I will never walk away okay? I'm always here." he said before holding my face and placing his cold lips on mine and kissing me with all his emotions, tears fell out of his eyes as he held me tight, I finally started kissing him back as we became each other's warmth in this cold place, we cured each other's drapetomania.
