The Story Never Ends

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"Stick, stick to your stones, cause that's all
You know
I was caught in the middle
I swallow my words down to the bone
Cause nothings that simple"

"The Story Never Ends" – Lauv

I fiddle with the cake slice I ordered, realizing I feel physically ill when I think about eating. How can I eat after what I learnt? My parents could have been involved in illegals things, I can't imagine mom had no idea that dad had suspicious amounts of money. If he had heaps of money, why did Melissa have to pay people off for him?

My dad did something illegal and it cost him his life, it cost me my parents. Was discovering this my punishment for skipping school? If I had stayed at school, I'd be in math right now with no idea about everything Melissa knew. I'm not stupid, I know I'd find out when the Flynn case is solved, but I could have held onto my innocent for a little while longer.

I haven't replied to any texts, I don't think I can form the words to describe how I'm feeling, I don't feel anything. I should be upset that my father wasn't who I thought he was, or I should be angry that he committed illegal acts which lead to his – and my mother's- death, but I'm neither upset or mad. I'm just shocked and confused.

How could my dad have considered kidnapping Hope and Eleanor? How could he live with himself if he held two teenage girls for ransom? I have no idea how much mom knew, I wish I had a way of finding out. I want to be believe she was unaware, but it seems impossible that she'd have no idea. Can you hide money from your significant other?

"Hey" Hope says, sitting down across from me. How on earth did she find me? "I checked your phone location" she says, reading my mind. I should have realized someone was bound to do that, I'm just glad it's not Melissa appearing here.

"Are we okay?" I ask, unsure of what will happen now we know my dad came up with the idea to kidnap Hope and Eleanor. I don't think Hope will hold my father's actions against me, but it's a possibility. I have no idea how I would feel if one of Hope's parents had planned to kidnap me and hold me for ransom.

"I'm not going to blame you for something you didn't know about. Your dad might never have gone through with it" Hope replies, looking down at the table. Planning it is horrible enough, I just hope he would have had enough humanity to realize he couldn't do that to Hope or Eleanor.

"I'm so sorry" I whisper, a tear rolling down my cheek. Hope could have died because of my dad, what if she was the one who was killed? If she wasn't adopted, there is a high chance she'd be dead right now, just like Eleanor.

"It's not your fault" Hope says, grabbing my hand. "No one in their right mind would hold your dad's actions against you." I just feel so guilty, like I'm partly responsible for the hell that Eleanor and Hope endured.

"Did you find out any more about your biological family?" I ask, I don't know if either of us want to know. I've dealt with enough drama to last a lifetime, and Hope's relationship with her adoptive parents is already complicated enough without her biological family being dragged into it.

"No, I didn't push it though" Hope admits, I think we've both realized that sometimes it's better not to know. "I've hurt my family enough. Did you know William had to interview heaps of people from school because me and El hurt so many people? I wasn't usually directly mean without being provoked, but I hardly ever told Eleanor to stop." I didn't think I'd ever be having this conversation with Hope.

"Your family love you, you haven't hurt them. Don't waste energy feeling guilty over the past, if you want to try and make amends, you can, but it's useless to stew over things you can't change" I reply, I've done and said things I wish I could change, but what's done is done. Nobody can take their actions back, we can just try to make amends and become better.

"I've apologized to a few people, nobody seems to be holding grudges, but I guess that's because Eleanor is dead" Hope says quietly, she has a point. Eleanor is dead and Hope was kidnapped, I think it would make people's hatred lessen as they'd have sympathy for Hope. Apart from Courtney, she's the outlier.

"If the people you hurt have forgiven you, take it as a sign that you should forgive yourself" I say, smiling warmly at Hope. I know every part of Hope and I have no doubts that she is a good person, her good traits outweigh the bad.

"Even if your dad wasn't a good person, that doesn't mean he was a bad father" Hope says, I have no idea what to think about dad anymore, should I still love him? Is it wrong to love him knowing he was involved in illegal things? "It's ok to love someone who has done bad things, it doesn't mean you're okay with their actions."

"I just wanted to jump into my car and burn rubble until I hit Seattle" I admit, I was so tempted to drive home until I realized it's not my home anymore. California is my home now, Melissa and William are my family. I don't think I'll be able to find answers in Seattle, my house has been sold and our sold is either in my current house, in storage, or has been sold.

"What stopped you?" Hope asks, looking curious. I couldn't leave Hope, not when her kidnapper is still roaming free.

"There's nothing for me in Seattle, and I couldn't just drive off and leave you" I say, causing Hope to smile. I vowed to myself I would keep Hope safe and I have no intention of breaking that promise, no matter how many dark facts I find out about my family.

"Who knew rich people had such complicated lives?" Hope asks, causing me to laugh. She's right, my life has been insane ever since I moved here. I couldn't believe my eyes when I first saw a dog with a designer collar, but now it's an everyday occurrence.

"I still can't believe dogs have designer collars" I say, causing Hope to grin. "No animal needs anything designer." Hope wouldn't have found any of this strange since she grew up here, but so many things seemed surreal when I first moved here.

"Everyone needs designer" Hope says, I shake my head, nobody needs anything designer, normal brands will do. "Anyway, we're breaking into my dad's office tomorrow."

"I thought it wasn't breaking in since he's your father?" I tease Hope, this is the first time where it's dawned on me that finding answers might be worse than finding out nothing, maybe ignorance is bliss. I'm going to help Hope, I'm just scared of what might unfold.

"Do you want to go swimming?" Hope asks me, randomly. I blink, she wants to go swimming? "I think I'm ready, I know I almost drowned, but I used to love swimming." I remember people saying she was a good swimmer, it makes sense that she'd want to get back to it.

"We'll swim soon" I say, this is a step forward for Hope. I'm glad she's able to keep moving forward, despite not being sure who her kidnapper was and why they kidnapped her.

*Author's Note* It's getting intense

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