Quite Miss Home

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"And I quite miss home
Yeah, I miss you telling me
To leave my shoes at the door
Cause you just swept the floor
And the dirt drives you crazy"

"Quite Miss Home" – James Arthur

I glance out the window for the millionth time, even though Hope isn't meant to arrive for another couple of minutes. It's Saturday night, so I invited her to sleepover. Melissa and William agreed, they said they're not stupid enough to expect us not to do stuff. I can't tell if they're being laid back because there's no risk of me becoming pregnant, or if they just think that I'll become sneaky if they're too strict with me.

William and Melissa have gotten out to dinner with a couple of friends. They probably won't be back until late, I'd say eleven pm at the earliest.

I smile as I hear the doorbell ring. I quickly head towards it and open it, Hope smiles at me. She's wearing a navy top and black skinny jeans. Her hair is down and she's wearing a little bit of make-up. She looks gorgeous.

"Hey" I say as Hope comes inside. "How was family dinner?" I ask. I can't imagine Susan being thrilled her daughter is dating a girl, but I could be wrong about Susan, she might not be as awful as I imagine. Hope deserves accepting parents, everybody does.

"They weren't thrilled when I told them, but they didn't scream or cry or anything" Hope says, following me into the kitchen. "They basically said they still love me, but they wish I was straight." Well, she's not. Her parents annoy me.

"Did you say you love them but you wish you found out about your adoption when you were young?" I ask, causing Hope to roll her eyes. I open my fridge and glance around for snacks, I have no idea what we have.

"I don't want to fight with them, Juliet, I'm tired of fighting with mom constantly about everything and anything, I just want it to stop" Hope says after a few seconds of silence. I didn't realize things were that bad for her which makes me feel guilty, maybe I haven't been paying enough attention to her.

"What are you fighting about? College?" I ask, I think since we're all rich, our parents and guardians do have a level of expectation for us.

"Dad's not happy that I don't want to study business and join the family business" Hope replies as we head into her living with a bowl of chips and a block of chocolate. I'm glad Melissa and William don't have a business that I'm expected to work for. "I don't see the point, it's not like I can work up to becoming the CEO."

"Is that what you want? To start your own business?" I ask, I'm starting to think about doing something in the legal field. I don't want to be a lawyer, but I think I could follow in Melissa or William's steps and become a private investigator or a detective. I'm pretty good with numbers, so I could also do something with finance.

"I want a job to do with writing, I would love to continue my blog or to write for a company" Hope tells me. "Otherwise, I guess I'd study law." Hope could make a good lawyer, she's intelligent enough and she's very confident and determined.

"You should contact companies, you might be able to work for a company while studying" I suggest, Hope's a Flynn and a good writer, that's a strong combination.

"What do you want to do?" Hope asks, looking at me. I wish I was certain about what I want to do but I'm not.

"I wouldn't mind being a private investigator" I admit, though I'm not even sure what I'd have to study for that.

"You won't find peace if you keep chasing your parents' killer" Hope says, not meeting my eyes. She fiddles with her hair, how can she say that to me? This has nothing to do with my parents death! "You helped me because the killer wasn't found, and now you want to be a private investigator so nobody else goes through that but it isn't going to help you."

"You're not the right person to lecture me about this, Hope, you still have nightmares and you still wish Eleanor was still here! My career choices have nothing to do with my parents, I have moved on, unlike you. You push people away because you're scared they'll leave you just like Eleanor did" I snap, my tone colder than ice. If Hope is surprised by my harsh words or my cold tone she doesn't show it.

Is Hope right? I know I did agree to helping her because I know how it feels, but I don't think all my actions are because of my parents. I've moved past that, haven't I? Hope's right, nothing I do will bring them back. If there was anything that could do that, I would have done it by now. I close my eyes and run my fingers through my hair.

I don't think my career choice is completely to do with them. I'm helpful and kind and curious, they all fit the ideal personality of a private investigator. Somebody crashed into my parents and the police don't think it was an accidental car crash, how can I move on when the person is roaming around free? You have to find a way.

I should talk to William or Melissa about this, even Hunter could help me. They were all there when I was still in the early stages of grieving, they'll be able to judge how much I've moved on from it.

"I didn't mean to make you cry, I just don't think you are as over your parents death as you think you are. There is nothing wrong with still being affected by it, I couldn't imagine losing my parents." Hope says quietly, placing her hand on my shoulder. "I just don't want you to waste your life searching to find something that can't be found."

"I just miss them so much" I say, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. I'd do anything to spend one more day with them, to tell them I love them. "I know you don't push people away because you're scared they'll leave."

"I'm just a closed-off person, it's not personal" Hope replies, shrugging it off. Despite her stubbornness, Hope is a forgiving person. "Look you're curious, you weirdly enjoy science, and you enjoy helping people, so have you thought about pathology or something?"

That's not a terrible idea, I do enjoy science and I like to know things. I should research more about that career and see if it sounds like something I'd like. I could imagine myself in the medical field, I used to think about being a doctor when I was in middle school, then I realized I didn't want to have to deal with patients who wouldn't accept my advice.

"You could be onto something" I say, causing Hope to smile, she likes being right. "Don't give up on your writing, I know you can make it." I don't want her to become a lawyer because she's afraid her writing skills aren't good enough, I have faith in her.

"Where do you want to go to college?" Hope asks, I bite my lip. We could end up on two completely different sides of the country which is scary, I don't know what we'll be like in a few months but I know that right now I don't want to be far away from Hope.

"Princeton" I answer, ever since I was thirteen I decided I wanted to go to Princeton. I'm not sure what attracted me to the university, but it's where I want to go. "Where do you want to go?" I ask, I doubt it's Princeton. It just seems too amazing that we'd both want to go to the same university.

"Brown or Columbia" Hope answers, biting her lip. "I'd like to attend Columbia but it's a family tradition to go to Brown, mom doesn't really care as long as I attend an ivy league, but dad has his heart set on all his children attending Brown." I shouldn't be worrying about this yet, we might not be together by the time graduation comes.

If my parents hadn't died and if I did not receive a scholarship, I could have gone to NYU and been near Hope if she went to Columbia. My parents had a college fund saved up for me, but it wouldn't have been enough to cover the cost of an Ivy League college.

"We shouldn't worry about this, we can think about this after graduation ok?" Hope says and I nod in agreement. The important thing is what's happening now.

*Author's Note* What careers do you think would suit Hope and Juliet?

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