The Revelation

Back on track

Neil's accusations hurt much more than the severe belting. Tears streamed down my cheeks hearing the disdain and disappointment in his voice. Shane tried to warn me that my behavior was hurting the girls but I was too angry and too inebriated to see it, or care for that matter. How could I be so self-absorbed? I pressed my forehead against the cold porcelain tile as I began to sob.

I don't know when Neil stopped whipping me with the girls' spanking belt. I was too busy wallowing in my misery. I felt hollow and empty inside. I let everyone down. Neil, Shane, the girls. My mother, father, and sister would have been ashamed of me too if they were alive today.

Snapping me out of my self-retrospective state, Neil put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Turn and face me, s_ Michael."

I heard his voice catch as he stopped himself from calling me son and it broke my heart. I turned around and collapsed in his arms.

"I'm so sorry, Neil, please forgive me. I'm so sorry I hurt you."

Despite the fact I was cold and my clothes were still drenched, Neil dropped the belt and returned my embrace. The comfort, safety, and security I felt in his arms embarrassed me. I was a grown man, afterall. Why did I crave this man's affection and approval to this degree? How could I say I wasn't his son? I know how much it hurt me when Stacey said I wasn't her father and here I go and do the same thing to Neil. I really acted like an asshole.

I heard Neil swallow hard before breaking our embrace to hold me at arm's length.

"Michael, look at me." His tone was firm but caring at the same time.

It's hard for me to face him right now, I'm too ashamed.

"Michael," he repeated more sternly.

Knowing this was my one and only warning to comply, I reluctantly looked up at him. Seeing the sadness in his eyes was more than I could bear. I started to cry again as I looked down and shook my head from side to side.

"I can't." I could feel Neil's gaze on me but I just couldn't look him in the eye. I'm a coward.

"Michael David, this is your last chance to face me like a man and accept responsibility for your atrocious behaviour. I strongly suggest you take it, unless you want round two with the belt."

Looking up at him with tears in my eyes, I sincerely asked, "How can you ever forgive me, Neil? For everything I said and did?"

"Listen to me." Neil gently tilted my chin up as I had let my head drop again in shame. "You never have to ask for my forgiveness, Michael. There is nothing you could say or do to make me give up on you."

I swallowed hard and tried to look away seeing a single tear roll down Neil's cheek.

Guiding my gaze back to him, he said, "Whether you consider yourself to be my son or not..."

I turned my head trying to look away again from the sadness etched on his face as my tears continued to fall.

Neil held my chin in one hand and wiped my tears with the other.

"... I will always love you like a father."

He hugged me tightly, holding my head against his chest as he let me cry it out.

I spent the remainder of my time at the cottage with Neil devising a plan to make amends for my behavior. Neil had me write down all my wrongdoings and then he filled in all the gaps. I wrote out my apologies to Shane and the girls so I wouldn't forget anything. I cleaned every room of Neil's cottage from top to bottom, from sun-up to sundown.

Before we returned home, Neil helped me pick out a beautiful memorial stone for Janet and arranged to have it put next to my parents' graves. All that was left now was deciding what I was going to do about my relationship with Tristan.

I admit my reasons for dating Tristan again may not have been the best but I've really enjoyed our time together, although the majority of that time I was pretty blitzed. I'm sure now that I'm back on track, we'll still have sober fun together. Maybe. Hopefully.

One month later

Mike's pov

I decided to continue my relationship with Tristan when I got back from the cottage and we've been together ever since. I think everyone's pretty surprised we're still dating and unfortunately, pretty unhappy about it as well.

Shane and Neil have made their feelings regarding my relationship with Tristan perfectly clear. They both think I'm a fool for trusting him again and they don't want to see me get hurt if history repeats itself but I think everyone deserves a second chance. I mean we've each made mistakes in our lives and where would we be if no one bothered to give us a do-over, or the opportunity to make amends? And trust me, I've had Tristan atone for his sins on an almost nightly basis. Perhaps that's why I'm enjoying our time together so much, mostly at his place though, since I promised Neil I wouldn't let Tristan spend the night in my room at the NJC anymore.

The girls seem to have mixed feelings about me dating Tristan again. Stacey's pretty cold towards him. I have an inkling Shane may have let it slip to her why we broke-up in the first place. Lisa seems unsure about her feelings towards Tristan. At times it's almost as if she's afraid to like him. I think she doesn't want to get too attached in case our relationship doesn't last. She still struggles with abandonment issues from the loss of her parents. Carrie is always polite and friendly around Tristan. I think she tries to hide the fact she likes him because she feels guilty for betraying Shane and Stacey, since they don't.

Julie's always liked Tristan and she's pretty happy we're back together. I've noticed she tends to age regress around him, acting more like a four or five-year-old than a college freshman. Tristan eats it up too. He loves to mother her when she comes home to visit for the weekend. Normally it doesn't bother me but sometimes it gets under my skin.

Julie was home a couple weekends ago and she and Tristan spent the day together while Shane and I were at work. Julie had been begging us for the past week to allow her to use the credit card to go clothes shopping. Each time Shane and I would deny her as she didn't need any new clothes, she just wanted to go on a shopping spree. We reiterated our stance to her before leaving for the Foundation Saturday morning after breakfast.

Apparently our edict fell on deaf ears, however, as when we returned from work, Shane and I saw Julie and Tristan walking into the Center ahead of us with loads of shopping bags from the clothing stores she likes to frequent.

Flashback to that day

"What's all this?" I asked her, pointing to the bags littered across the floor when I entered my room.

"Tristan took me shopping," Julie replied happily, smiling brightly as she sat next to Tristan on my bed.

"I thought Shane and I made it crystal clear, young lady, that you were not allowed to buy any new clothes at this time," I stated sternly, loosening my tie as I set my keys on my dresser. Julie has no idea how much trouble she's in right now but she's about to find out.