Journals (Camren)

Chapter 5

Yeah, twist the knife in Camila's stomach, why don't you. That hurt more than she let on. Lauren was supposed to be kissing Camila. The thought of those perfect lips being pressed against someone else's made her heart hurt.

"Well when y'all do start dating, you're gonna be the power couple of the school," Normani smiled. She was so happy for Lauren. Hearing her talk about him every day at lunch wasn't annoying to her at all. She practically waited to find out more about the pair.

"Thanks, Mani," Lauren smiled and hugged her awkwardly from across the table.

Camila tried to play off the way she just blatantly looked at Lauren's behind. But some things were inexcusable. Dinah laughed and Camila knew she had been caught. She didn't care though. Nothing really mattered to Camila anymore. She had no shame.

Lunch came and went. The days passed by and Camila really just didn't feel like doing anything. She lacked any type of motivation. Although she had never been the type of person to let her personal problems interfere with her schoolwork, the lines started to blur. Whenever she got into one of these moods, she found her escape through reading or writing. She couldn't write anymore. Lauren was her inspiration most of the time, but she oddly wasn't feeling very inspired at all.

Somewhere deep within Camila, she knew she was happy for Lauren. But the circumstances for Lauren's happiness made it hard for Camila to accept it. Lauren hated being lied to. And she felt like she was lying to Lauren as well. It was lying by omission. Dinah was guilty of it too. The desire to tell her lessened every day. Dinah feared that Camila was becoming depressed. She wanted to do whatever she could to help her get back to normal.

Dinah and Lauren had anatomy together. The other girls were taking different science classes, and luckily Dinah and Lauren had been scheduled for the same class. They sat next to each other most of the time. Today, their assignment was a lab. They picked their spot in a corner in the back to begin. Dinah picked it so they would have some conversational privacy.

"What are we supposed to do first?" Lauren asked Dinah, who was holding the lab instruction sheet.

"I don't know. What's going on with you and Brad?" Dinah changed the subject.

"We're good... But he's still being so weird. I thought it was just because he was nervous, but we hang out so often now, I know it's not that. There's literally nothing to be nervous about anymore. We're so comfortable with each other but he's just so..." Lauren trailed off as she struggled to find a way to accurately describe him.

"Boring?" Dinah assumed as she set up their materials.

"No, not that. He's pretty funny and stuff. I mean, I can talk to him... But I don't know. I don't know how to explain it. I read more of his journal every night... And I'm almost finished with it, but sometimes he just doesn't seem like the person that wrote all of that stuff," Lauren admitted.

Dinah smiled in spite of herself. Lauren was slowly figuring it out. If she could find a way to pave the road for Camila, they would be home free. She had to be careful though. She had to drop little subtle hints. Camila would kill her if she did anything else. It was risky, but Dinah was willing to brave it.

"Did you ever think that maybe the journal wasn't his?" Dinah challenged.

"Yeah, I have. If I'm being honest, I think about that all the time. But I'm like, this is Brad. He wouldn't lie to me," Lauren disclosed. She wanted to have faith in her boyfriend. Was that what he was now? Nothing was official yet. Everything concerning Brad was starting to give her a headache.

"I don't think so either... But I mean, have you considered anyone else on the list?" Dinah asked quietly as she skimmed over the lab sheet. Yeah, there was no way she was about to do that right now. She put it on the table next to her stuff.