Clone Family

Weird Messages

While en route to Coruscant, Yoda contacts Ashla

Yoda: From Coruscant, the Sith Lord is sending messages. Anything strange from the Senate district, save.

Ashla: Yes, Master Yoda.

When Yoda arrives at the Senate building, he sees Senator Amidala being chased by a cooking droid.

Yoda: Going on here, what is?!

Padmé: This droid has malfunctioned and is now trying to...

Droid: You must eat these scrambled eggs and celery sticks!

Yoda: Happened, how did this?

Padmé: Well, Senator Organa hit him with a frying pan, and then it started to harass everyone.

Yoda: Your problem, this is! Go now, I must.

Yoda goes into a computer room and finds Ashla waiting for him

Yoda: Found anything strange, have you?

Ashla: Yes, but they are all some sort of messages that make no sense.

Yoda: Encrypted, are they?

Ashla: No, Master. They are all so bizarre that its impossible to say. However, they are all adressed to the same person. But that person isn't a Senator.

Yoda: To me, show them.

These are the texts. They are not my property. Names and some details have been changed for obvious reasons:

<Alla, It is Mr. Adnan

<I need you to give to me your Algebra 2 math book

What why>

<I am hungry. I must butter your book and eat it for breakfast. Are you with me?

Mr. Adnan? What the heck? I need my math book! Eat your pants instead!>

<But the pants of a teacher is not as good as the buttered book. I have tried pants they taste like a 'raw chicken'

I'll slice you in half with a lightsaber if you don't stop.>

1 Day Later

<Alla, it's Donald Trump

Uuh, so many weird people have been texting me!☹️😡>

<Sucks for you. Is there anything I could do to make it worse?😏

Yeah, can you execute Mr. Sdoow, Mr. Adnan, and yourself?🙂>

<Sure! Wait what Nooo help no

Did it work?>

<Why did Trump turn into a math book and butter and eat himself?

yessss!>

3 Days Later

<Hello

<Knock Knock

<It's Darth Vader

<Hey

<Aren't u gonna answer?

<You're making me angry

<C'mon, its Vadeypants, your fave supervillain!

<If you answer I'll give you a lightsaber

Yoda: Strange, these are. This Vader person, who is...

Ashla: Well, they have been sent from 12BBY, so either it's a prank call, or he's from the future...

Yoda: Hmmmm...The recipient, who are they?

Ashla: That's the thing...they seem to be living in a parallel universe...

Yoda: Make sense, this does not! Anything on the Chancellor, have you?

Ashla: None at all, and it turns out it wasn't Mas Amedda who attacked him. Mas Amedda was found tied up in a broom closet. It seems that a Clawdite impersonated him.

Yoda: So a Clawdite, the Sith is? Hmm...So the Chancellor, the Sith is not.

Yoda goes to the Chancellor's office

Yoda: Guilty, you are not, and neither is Mas Amedda. A Clawdite, the Sith Lord is.

Palpatine: Well...That's a relief. And the archeologist?

Yoda: The Sith Lord, he is not. Work with the Jedi now, he will.

Yoda leaves

Palpatine: That went well...Now the Jedi will never suspect me!

A time portal opens and Baby Yoda comes out

Palpatine: And what are you supposed to be?

Baby Yoda bites Palpatine's finger and jumps back into the portal, which closes

Palpatine: OOOOWWWWW! I hate children!