thirty-eight// please

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Calum's POV

"i don't get it, she won't talk to me. I've texted her and all, I've done everything" I sighed and buried my head on my hands.

"Stop stressing yourself out" Luke shakes his head, "I mean, you really should because that was a pretty bad move, but you're my best friend so try relaxing a bit"

"How could I relax when you've said it yourself that it was a pretty bad move!" I snapped at him. I know he was trying to help but it wasn't working at all.

"Because it's true, Calum" he ran a hand through his hair in frustration, "All you have to do is apologize to her and bring her trust back then make sure you don't do anything else that's extremely stupid"

"I'll go with that" I scoffed. I got off the couch and stormed out of his front door, not even bothering to say thank you or dismiss our conversation.

I've always been scared of going through separation. Specially if it's with my best friend, Alesia. I've always liked her and I still do. It wasn't my fault after all. That girl, Alexandria, she's the meanest, the baddest bad ass (is there even such?) girl in the school. Basically, her objectives in life is to ruin everyone in a relationship. I've always hated her.

None of the guys in school actually like her, they just think she's hot. They'd constantly bring her home then throw her out like trash after. Man, she was used. But that doesn't make me pity her, or like her, she disgusts me. Well, not because she's being used but because she likes what she's doing and she chooses it over all things for fun in the world.

Back to the story; it wasn't my fault, it was Alexandria's. She popped out of nowhere then just threw herself at me. And to be honest with you, my back still hurts. She kissed me hungrily and I had nothing to do. Well, maybe I did get carried away. That's just because I've missed being a boy and making out with the opposite sex. Not that I always do.

Its just that, I enjoyed myself for once. For once, I felt some kind of sexual pleasure. I mean we practically almost had sex if Alesia didn't pop out. I wouldn't want to continue it either. I had a girl friend. But my hands refused to listen to me and they made their way up to her waist.

These are the things I don't do with Alesia. I want to, I really do. And it drives me crazy that I can't actually bring her in my room and get a hold of her. That's because I highly respect her, I care too much for her well-being. I don't want her to think that I just took advantage of her. I just think that it's too early for things like that to happen. She's just been hurt from the incident with Carter and I don't want to add up to that.

I guess it's too late.

I walked around town and waited 15 minutes for every time i cross a road. I made my way to the shop where mum used to buy flowers all the time and got greeted by the owner,

"Good morning, Calum dear" I tried my best to pull up a smile as I walked past pots of arranged flowers.

"Ms. Anderson?" I called out, she came rushing from the storage room back to me.

"What may I help you with, dear?"

"What would be the perfect bouquet of flowers when you're saying sorry to a special someone?" I mumbled a little too quiet and fast.

"Aw, now now. Let me get you something special for that someone special of yours" she sent me a wink and went back to the storage room. I shifted the weight of my body to either side of my foot and kept my hands in my pocket. After about 30 minutes she came rushing out again. A huge bouquet of flowers in hand. She gave it to me without hesitation and I thanked her. I payed her before leaving the flower shop. She didn't ask me much though.

"Go get 'em!" She called after me as I made my way home.

Mom and Mali encouraged me on my plans too. I was going to take her on a date and we were going to be fine. But I was going to apologise first of course. I went up my room and searched my closet for something nice to wear. I wasn't the type to wear suit and ties, why would I even? so I got out a button up shirt and a black jacket, a pair of black skinny jeans and wore my vans. I fixed my hair up into a quiff and exhaled.

"Pull your shit together, Hood" I said while pointing on myself in the mirror. I exhaled one last time and picked up the bouquet on my bed.

please meet me @ the beach now. i love you, i really do. please.

"Come on, Ally. Please" I mumbled as I waited for a reply. I shoved my phone into my pocket and headed downstairs.

I went straight to the beach, kicking sand with my feet at the process. I walked in circles in our usual spot as I waited for her. I would constantly check my phone for any replies and shove it back down into my pockets. Deep thoughts swirled in my head, as I listened to the calming waves.

What if she doesn't come?

What if she doesn't trust me anymore?

Of course she wouldn't trust me after what happened.

Fuck you, Calum.

I stood up from my place and dusted my jeans off whilst looking around. No signs of her. Why do I have to be this miserable? I set the flowers down and sat again. I probably look like an idiot. In fact, I am an idiot. I buried my head into my palms and scoffed as I felt hot tears form in my eyes.

What have I ever done to be this miserable? Mom and dad separated, my sister would just visit me constantly. But we kept in touch. Why do I always have to be separated with the people i love? This is why I don't want to get attached to people.

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