Breaking Ice

Breaking Part: Thirty-two

Yeah, you could say that.

Umupo na si Ice to find herself some medicine and food with her phone still pressed to her ear. "Stellar said something happened," Cast's voice changed. Mas bumaba ito ngayon, like he's unsure to open the topic this soon. "Lex told her to check on you. Pinasa naman niya sakin kasi baka hindi ka daw comfortable if she suddenly talks to you out of the blue. How are you holding up, Lilo?"

"I feel like crap," she answered with a sigh. She was in the middle of the stairs, looking at the empty living room. She weighed what she wanted to say and the information she wants to keep hidden, but in the end napa buntong hininga nalang siya ulit.

Ice sat on the stairs as Cast waited patiently on the other line. Hindi niya alam kung sasabihin ba niya o iiyak niya nalang. Sleep couldn't save whatever crappiness she was feeling, parang mas lalo pa ngang bumigat. Tapos na dapat, eh. Bakit bumabalik na naman?

Naramdaman niya ang simula ng panginginig ng kamay niya. Kung hindi niya hinigpitan ang hawak sa phone baka nalaglag na ito.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Cast asked.

Gusto niya na bang pag usapan?

Umiling si Ice kahit na hindi naman nakikita ni Cast. "I feel like crap," she repeated. "I feel so shitty right now that I just want to disappear. Is that bad, Castiel?"

"No…" Cast answered after a second. "It's ok to feel that way. If you don't want to talk about it then that's okay, too. But, I'm here, okay? Kung gusto mong pag usapan."

Ice only nods. She rested her head on her knees para itago ang namumuong mga luha kahit na wala namang nakakakita and said, "I don't want to wallow in sadness but here I am. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko ngayong ako nalang ulit mag isa…" she lifts her head, wipes the lone tear that escaped. "I'd really appreciate it if you talk to me hanggang sa makatulog ulit ako because I don't trust myself right now, I might do something I'd regret."

"Okay." Mabilis na sagot ni Cast. Naramdaman ni Ice ang urgency from him, hindi niya alam kung bakit. "Okay, I'm here. Just breathe for a moment? Can you do that for me? I can hear you sobbing. Hinga muna tayo."

Halata na Cast hasn't handled something like this before and he's trying his best to communicate with her in his own way, Ice hated herself for putting this burden onto him. She hated herself because she had to bother other people to feel okay. "I'm sorry." she said with a sob. "I'm sorry you have to hear this."

"Ok lang." Cast laughed. "Ok lang kaya don't stress over it. We're going to focus on you, alright? Whatever you feel is completely valid kaya sige, ilabas mo lang 'yan."

Ice doesn't know how but Cast managed to talk her through everything. She managed to get food from a delivery service and find medicine, ngayon naka upo na siya sa dining table with the TV on para hindi masyadong tahimik. Cast also informed Uno what was happening kaya habang kumakain naka video call silang tatlo (apat pala kasi kasama si Skippy.) Paminsan-minsan mag uusap ang dalawa, pero si Ice tahimik lang. Naintindihan naman nila na gusto lang niya ng kasama.

Hindi rin niya mapigilan na hindi tawanan si Cast na mukhang inggit na inggit kasi mas una siyang naka kain ng Chowking sa kanilang dalawa. After all the asaran about fast food habang wala silang dalawa sa Pilipinas. Nilapit pa ni Ice ang pagkain sa camera para mainggit lalo.

"Bibili talaga ako ng sweet and sour pork mamaya. Loko ka ah."

"Weh inggit."

Ice's laugh was cut short when she saw movement from Uno's cam. Mukhang may nilalayo ito sa kung sino man ang gustong manggulo.

"Kung may kaaway ka dyan na hindi namin nakikita pare sabihin mo lang." Cast laughed from his own cam.

"Wala naman kaming ginagawa. Makikigulo ka pa." Ang sabi ni Uno but it wasn't directed to Cast or Ice.