"Reality will break your heart"
SEVENTEEN
The adrenaline after the eventful day was short lived dahil naalala na naman ni Ice na aalis na ang Kuya niya and this time alam na niya kung kailan.
He's leaving the day after tomorrow.
Ice scolded and hated herself for ruining such a great night by thinking about what's coming. Bakit kaya ganon ang tao ano? Even at your happiest, you'll still find a way to bring yourself down. You'll think of something to dampen your spirits tapos masisira na buong araw mo. That's how easy it is.
Humans are masters of self-destruction.
"Hey..." Lex tried to console Ice that same night pagkatapos nitong aminin kung kailan ito aalis. Tanging isang tango lang kasi ang sagot niya dito. He knew Ice's feelings is beyond that.
"We'll see each other again soon," he amended. "Malapit na mag christmas break. We'll fly to LA right?"
Tumango lang ulit si Ice. Honestly, she can't open her mouth to even rasp out one word without crumbling down.
Ganito siya kahina. This happens when she brings down her guard.
Gusto niyang sabihin ang mga nasabi na niya noong una itong umalis. Why does he have to go? Why not study here ulit? Bakit kailangan sa malayo pa?
"Oh, love..." bakas na din ang lungkot sa mukha at boses ni Lex. He's been saying words to keep her up pero narealize na ata nito na walang epekto iyon sa kanya. Ice's mind is stuck in the present. Stuck on the pain. Ayaw mag focus ng isip niya sa fact na magkikita ulit sila. Mas nag focus ito sa thought na may aalis na naman, na mag isa na naman siya.
"If I can take you with me I will... but you know I can't stay, Isabelle."
Everything she's feeling right now was enough to make her cry but somehow the tears won't fall.
Para bang ang hirap hirap umiyak.
Niyakap siya ni Lex at paulit-ulit nitong hinagod ang kanyang likod, he keeps whispering that this is only temporary and they'll be together again soon. Nanatiling tahimik si Ice. The sweet promises weren't enough to trigger her to cry.
Maybe her silence is the cry itself.
No one other than Lex knows this about Ice. Na hirap siyang umiyak.
The last time she cried was the first time Lex left. Nagawa niya lang iyon because her brother wanted her to let it all out bago sila mag hiwalay because he couldn't bare to leave his little sister with all the heavy burden in her heart.
Injuries, emotional or physical, sometimes aren't enough to trigger her tears. Excluding her early childhood, halos nabibilang lang sa kamay ang mga times na umiyak siya. Simply because she finds it... hard.
Whenever she's hurt, nilalabas niya ito sa paraang alam niya. By studying, reading, or anything that'll keep her mind off the pain. She diverts her attention to things she's good at.
Maybe because she's already half empty. At ang pag iyak, ang pag labas ng kanyang mga luha, ang sasagad sa kanya.
Ice pressed her cheek on the crook of Lex's neck, her arms are around him not wanting to let go, ilang minuto na ang lumipas, ayaw pa din siyang bitawan nito.
She doesn't want to end their night this way but one simple thought just ruined it all.
Ang pag tunog ng final buzzer kanina ay parang naging simbolo na tapos na naman ang araw. Habang nag sasaya ang lahat sa paligid niya, wala siyang nagawa kundi ngumiti lang.
YOU ARE READING
Breaking Ice
Teen Fiction"How long will it take for them to break you, Ice?" Ice feels a sense of peace when she has control over her life. She strived to live by that thought and everything seems to be going well until she started a new job as a Teacher's Assistant at a ne...
