Her Hidden Pain (Pain Series #1)

CHAPTER 60: (IN MY ARMS AGAIN)

Clover's POV

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd
Need you there when I cry

When I saw Li for the first time on that park, I didn't know that we will be that close to the point that I started to catch feelings and be comfortable around her... I didn't know that I will be wishing her to be by my side everytime I feel alone, I feel down and everytime I want to feel loved...

And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
Is made up on your side

Everytime we're together or everytime I got a chance to hug or hold her I just don't want to let go... I don't want to watch her walk away kahit na alam kong babalik naman sya, ayoko syang makita na unti unting nawawala sa paningin ko dahil pakiramdam ko once na nawala sya, hindi na sya babalik pa... Im already used to the feeling thay she was always there by my side and I don't want that to disappear....

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

The day when things got messy, I don't know what to do, and I don't even know what I did, I may or may not act like a creepy guy when I admitted my feelings to her and that cause her to walk away from me... But the time she walked away I know that that wilk be the last time that I'll see her....

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missin' you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missin', too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear
To always get me through the day
And make it okay
I miss you

It was the day when I realize how much Li's presence can affect my day and life... The day when she walked away I thought I can make it, I thought I can forget her, I thought things will go back to the way like it used to be and I thought that my life will go back the way it used to be when Li wasn't still a part of it... But I was so wrong because how much I tried it doesn't change the fact that Li was and will always be a part of my life...

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you

And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do

I remember the things we do when we are still so close with each other, though she only see me as a friend or a brother I know that it means a lot to her too like how much it mean to me... The times that we are together seems like a short time and it really was but when I go back to the times that we're doing crazy stuff it feels like we know each other for so long.... I didn't plan to be that close to her, I didn't plan to be comfortable to her but I guess the thing you didn't plan was really a great things that can happen in your life, even though its just short... But despite the pain I feel when she walked away from my life, I just said to myself that, she may not be here with me anymore but atleast I have a wonderful memory with her that I can cherish for the rest of my life...

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missin' you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missin', too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear
To always get me through the day
And make it okay
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were
Yeah, yeah
And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do, I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe; I need to feel you here with me
Yeah

When I get to the time when I already accepted my fate with Li, I said to myself that finally, it's over, finally, I let her go, finally I let myself go... But that doesn't mean that I'll forget her, because how can I? When she was the one who taught me a lot of things, like don't ever let your anger or your fear let you down instead make them your strength to pull yourself up when no one can... I already accepted the fact that she wasn't with me anymore, I already accepted the fact that her and I, just met each other to teach the other that not all the things that you have right now will forever be with you...

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missin' you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missin', too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear
Will always get me through the day
And make it okay
I miss you

But fate really like to play games with people, especially those who are so fragile at that moment... Because when I already accepted the fact that I will never see her again and will never ever be close with her again, fate decided to mess with my feelings and she showed up infront of me... When I saw her again I just want to wrapped my arms around her and say that I miss her and tell her how sorry I am to let my guard down to have feeling with her even though she clearly said to me that friends are just friends...

I look down to my shoulder and see Allie leaning against it, eyes closed, breathing comfortably, and smiling at the sound of silence that surrounds us

"What are you thinking?" I asked breaking the long silence we are in

She slowly open her eyes and look straight into mine and then she smile and go back to leaning her head on my shoulder

I chuckled at her cute gesture and said, "Hey I asked you a question, don't ignore me..."

"Im not thinking anything..." She answered

"But you seem like you so lost in your thoughts..." I said again ang she giggled

'Ohh how I love to hear that everyday...'

"Why would I think anything when Im already with you?"

'WHAT?!' my eyes widened because of what she said

"I mean, when Im with you its just that I feel like I don't have to think of anything because you're here... With me... And your presence really give me the assurance... that things will get better in any way..." She said and I can't help but smile

"Im glad that you're here with me, Clover..."

I smiled and place a soft kiss on her forehead...

"And Im glad you're here in my arms.... Again..." I whisper the last part only for myself to hear
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A/N: "You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.."
- Jonathan Safran Foer

Hope you like it guys😊

Sincerely,
-Moi 🥀