A Song Of Light and Darkness - Book One: Dawn Of New Force

Chapter 21: The Last Wish

   A sharp kick of a boot in his ribs roused him from his sleep. His eyes suddenly flashed open to the white walls of the cold cell that has been his chamber for a week. A week without food, and barely enough water.

   He never realized he was slightly crying, his heart was a shallow of what it used to be. And he could still feel the warmth of his wife and daughter beheath his touch, as if they were still there, in his arms.
   His fingers clutched the air in a fist, as if that could bring solace.

   If only he could close his eyes, and go back into that dream, ask Anakin how to get there...

   But Rey... How could Rey be his wife? He wanted that, but on the other hand, he had done so many bad things to her, he wasn't worthy of her attachment, he could never make up for it. He dearly would have loved to touch her fair skin, to hear her voice, to taste her kiss in that moment. No, not only in that moment, but always. Always, something that was forbidden.

   Looking up at the two men dressed up in orange clothes that stood on each side of him, and the woman between them, he scrambled to his feet. The cell was small and narrow and barely high for him to stand straight and he almost hit his head against the ceiling.

   "General Poe has requested your presence in the hall. It seems that the jedi wants you to speak." one of the two men said harshly as he was binding his hands in iron cuffs, the other holding him.

   Ben's ears pricked immediately as he got it he was speaking about Rey. His eyes searched the pilot's face, asking for answers he knew he'd never get.

   "Ask her, when you get there, murderer. Not me." the man snarled before he yanked Ben roughly out of the cell.

   His heart was still aching when he almost stumbled, but caught himself against the wall, choking on nothing. His eyes rose up to the girl that had brought the two pilots with her. He knew her; she was the one who had shown him the tiniest bit of understanding back on the falcon.
   But now her arms were crossed against her chest as her eyes probed him while being walked along the corridor, bearing an unforgiving look.
  
   He almost felt ashamed he wanted to talk to her after all he had done to her. And even though he didn't know exactly what, he knew it must have shaken her to the core.

   Still he tried to hurry his pace to get closer to her. He didn't want to have to talk to her, yet someone had to listen.
   His eyes were pleading with her to understand, and she must have gotten it, for she finally stopped and turned around on her heels.

   Rose gestured with a sharp flicker of a hand to the guards to stop behind her. "I'd like a few private words with him." her eyes flashed from the two of them, and locked on Ben's.

   He couldn't bear it, he felt like looking away, anywhere else but not to her. So much blame, and so overwhelming...

   Closing his eyes for a brief moment was what helped him out. "Please..." he croaked, his parched tongue stuck to his teeth.

   But what happened then surprised him. He watched as Rose unstrapped a pouch of water from her belt, unclasped it, and tilted it to his lips.

   "Here, drink." She said in a soothing voice as her other hand patted his arm.

   Ben let the cool water slide down his throat without hesitation. As he worked it down his mouth felt free once again. Only then did he stop, and looked her in the eyes. He craved that water; but would not feel well until he had said the two words that have been trying to get out of his mouth ever since he had seen the girl willing to let him speak. "Thank you."

   "Don't hurry, we have time." she said.

   But he knew he didn't have much. He had to tell her, someone had to know his last wish.